Mommy Mantra

In Hindu tradition, a mantra is “a sacred verbal formula repeated in prayer, meditation, or incantation, such as an invocation of a god, a magic spell, or a syllable or portion of scripture containing mystical potentialities,” (thank you to thefreedictionary.com).  I’ve recently been utilizing my own mommy mantra.  The mystical powers of my mantra are not always effective but nonetheless, I find myself using my mommy mantra more and more frequently as my strong willed 4 year-old tests the limits of my sanity.

The typical calling upon my mantra goes something like this: I catch Honeybun doing something she knows she’s not supposed to do.  I very nicely, even saying “please”, ask her to stop or find something else to do. She ignores me.  I politely ask again.  She grunts, swats or glares at me.  I tell her I mean business (“Honeybun, I am not asking you, I am telling you…”).  She responds with a snide remark.  I take her to her room for some “lonely” time.  She screams and yells at me the entire walk and busts out her most angry crying when I leave her.  Sugarplum cannot handle life without Honeybun so tries to follow her into the room.  Honeybun screams at Sugarplum.  I politely ask Sugarplum to leave Honeybun. Sugarplum yells “no!” at me.  I use all my best tricks to try to coax Sugarplum away from the door.  Sugarplum begins hysterical crying while Honeybun continues to scream.

Cue mommy mantra.  I close my eyes, I initiate deep cleansing breaths and repeat in my head “I love my children, I love my children, I love my children.”  I chose this mantra not because I ever forget that I love my children or even because I need a reminder.  I evoke the power of my mommy mantra in order to suppress the negative feelings I may be having about my children.  Feelings, mind you, that never over power the love I have for my children but that may cloud my vision for a short time.  Feelings that can make me act in a way that I’m not proud of or that will cause overbearing mommy guilt later in the day.

“I love my children, I love my children.”  I open my eyes just as Sugarplum lays her head in my lap, still crying and starts up with her own mantra “I want my daddy!”  I gently stroke her back and wait for Honeybun to come to her senses.  Honeybun emerges in the door way, cowering like a scolded puppy.  Sometimes she apologizes for her behavior, sometimes she doesn’t but either way I just leave it.  We have all gained our composure and for at least a moment, all is right in our world again.