Potty Time: Beginning Potty Training

When Honeybun was a few months over 2, we had a stretch of time when we weren’t travelling so we decided to give potty training a go.  After a day of many accidents, not a single pee in the potty, and a newborn who spent most of her days screaming, we decided to wait a few more months. We tried again when she was 2 ½ with the same result.

Finally, a few months before her 3^rd birthday we tried again and she got it!  The first day she had a few accidents but something had changed and I could tell it made sense to her.  The second day I put her in a long dress and socks with nothing else.  She made one pee puddle on the floor, was mortified and has hardly had an accident since.

Jump ahead to Sugarplum, nearly 2 ½.  I decided to jump in with the New Year and just get it done.  Mostly because I knew if we didn’t do it now, we’d have to wait until after the arrival of baby #3 before trying again (I am in no mood for her deciding to go back to diapers when baby arrives).  So we did it.  The first few days were awful.  Pee accidents all the time, nothing going in the potty and maybe I should have given up but was willing to try harder with the deadline we have.  I took the same approach as with Honeybun and took the underwear away, letting her spend her time at home with just a dress or skirt on.

By a week she was doing great, we even had a stretch of 4 days without a single accident (around day 12).  She still struggled with the poo side of things but that’s normal.  I started taking her underwear off in the morning when she usually pooed and didn’t given them back until she went in the potty (or when we had to leave the house).  Usually this meant her walking around with just her pajama top on.  But it was just me and her home so I didn’t worry about it too much.

Then it all went haywire.  A 4 day weekend with Honeybun and Daddy home somehow put a wrench in the whole thing!  A pee accident while out shopping followed by a poo accident at home and the next day a poo accident while at the children’s museum.  The third day she had 5 pee accidents in a span of a few hours ultimately resulting in Sugarplum not only having her underwear taken away but also her shirt when she somehow got pee on it too.  Cue completely naked girl walking around the house (which also necessitated some quick, makeshift curtains going up in the kitchen!)

So, here’s what I’ve learned about beginning potty training (some of my opinion also comes from potty training children at work for many years):

—If you’re gonna do it, you’ve got to do it cold turkey.  No diapers, no pull-ups (same as diapers anyways) and sometimes no underwear (with the exception of sleeping times, nap and night training takes longer)

—Be patient.  It’s a learning process for everyone. TRY to never make the child feel bad about accidents.  As hard as it is to keep your cool when you child has their 5^th accident in 2 hours or when you accidentally drop poo on the floor while trying your best to carefully get their soiled underwear off, getting upset won’t help anyone.

—Have a stash of necessities with you at all times including: multiple pairs of clean underwear and pants, clean shirts, clean socks, clean shoes, wipes, plastic bags.  It will be awhile before your diaper bag gets lighter or gets to stay at home

—If necessary, use a timer for constant reminders.  With Sugarplum I would start with 1 ½ hours after she last went and make her go sit.  If she didn’t go then I would set the timer again for 15 minutes later, making the interval shorter until we were going every 5 minutes or until she actually peed in the potty (or had an accident).

—Kids won’t go if they’re upset, avoid power struggles.  It may seem like a good, consistent idea to put your screaming child on the potty when it’s “time” or to make them stay there until they go, even through hysterics but really, this will backfire (trust me, I’ve fallen into this one on multiple occasions and it never ends in my favor).  If they are upset, make them sit and then let them get up when they want with the understanding they will be coming back in 5 minutes.

—Just because there was pee in the underwear doesn’t mean it’s all out, it might mean they don’t have the muscle control to hold it all in and little bits are getting out.  Make them sit on the potty while you change their clothes (this is my personal take away from the 5 accidents in an hour we had).

—Do whatever it takes to make it work (within reason).  If your child wants a stool for her feet and books to read while she makes a poo, help her out.  It will be much easier than fighting with her or cleaning up the poopy underwear.

—If it’s not working, don’t feel guilty about giving up and trying again another time.  Just be consistent, if you’re doing underwear only do diapers when sleeping.  If you’re doing diapers, only do potty when they ask (don’t force them to go).

See more of my potty training tips and trials.