I entered into the world of pre-school teacher fresh out of college as a complete novice. I had been teaching ballet to 3 and 4 year olds since I was 16 and did some service hours at my University’s pre-school as part of my education curriculum but really had no idea what I was doing. I was thrown right into the thick of pre-school: full-time with 20 children and 1 other teacher. I spent those first few weeks absorbing everything I could and not getting overwhelmed. I spent the majority of my time with a 3 year-old who was transitioning from the toddler classroom who just cried and cried (we remained close until I left the center 2 ½ years later). But I still learned so much those first few weeks from my two co-teachers who were drastically different in their styles but still had the same principals and goals.
Nap time was especially hard. Once all the children were on their cots, my morning co-teacher would take her afternoon break and I was left alone to make sure everyone stayed quiet and with the goal of getting all the children to sleep before the afternoon teacher arrived. There were a few children that were particularly needy at nap time, requiring their back to be patted until they drifted off to slumber. I quickly learned each child’s habits and requirements and developed a system for getting everyone asleep.
There was one little boy, however, who only attended sporadically and had a particularly hard time going to sleep. He required constant reminding to lay down and be quiet as well as back patting. He was clearly tired and needing of a rest but the struggle always resulted in him crying himself to sleep. My morning co-teacher reassured me in my struggle with the simple explanation “some kids just don’t learn until you make them cry.” And, as harsh as it sounds, It’s sometimes true.
It’s a lesson I’ve taken to other childcare centers with me and have had to remind myself throughout my mommying career. Obviously it’s never appropriate to physically hurt a child but there are times when a child just isn’t listening or isn’t’ learning and require an extreme sternness that makes them upset. It’s similar to adults who won’t act on something until they get really pissed off. Sometimes we all just need a bit more motivation and anger or sadness can be the necessary trigger.
I don’t often intentionally try to make my children cry but there are times when I get frustrated with them continually repeating the same behaviors and not listening or learning. In these situations, especially if their safety is at stake, I will react in a way which scares or upsets them. Most importantly, though, I always try to reassure them after they’ve been upset. I let them know that I was worried about them getting hurt and they weren’t listening but I hope now they understand why it’s so important to listen to me the first time. Sometimes I still have to repeat myself again and again but a lot of times they get the message and are better in the future.
