With impending labor (I hope), my feelings about how it might go are all time related. I worry I’ll have an extremely long labor like I did the last two times, that my water will break and labor won’t start or that labor will be so much shorter than I’ve experienced before that I won’t realize right away it’s happening and everything will be rushed.
With both girls, I was not yet in “active labor” (generally considered 4 cm dilated) when my water broke. With Honeybun I had them break it when I was forced to go into the hospital to be induced because I was 10 days past my due date (FYI, 40-42 weeks in actually considered “post dates” not “late” or “overdue”). I was 2 cm dilated and had been having contractions every 10 minutes or so through the night. Honeybun was born 14 hours after they broke my water (and 9 hours after they started pitocin because she had “moved up”).
Sugarplum, my water broke on it’s own at 3:30 am after having consistent contractions most of the afternoon before and after they had been occurring every 3-5 min for a few hours. Unfortunately when I got to the hospital (it was my second baby, my midwife advised I’d probably go fast) I was only 1 cm dilated and she had not yet engaged in my pelvis. She came down within 2 hours but my labor had slowed. My contractions from that point never occurred less than 7 minutes apart and it was 21 hours from water breaking to baby holding.
So my previous pattern has gone: contractions through the night, water breaking in the morning, labor all day, baby born next night. I am really hoping this baby does not assume the same pattern. This type of labor is exhausting and frustrating.
This being my third, the assumption is that it will go faster than my previous labors. Which leaves me to wonder, will I know when it’s the real thing? With the last two I had so much time to ponder if it was really happening prior to my water breaking that I’m not sure I’ll know it’s really it unless my water breaks early in labor this time too. I know what contractions feel like (both labor and Braxton-Hicks) but I worry I’ll think I have tons of time when the contractions do start that by the time I decide to actually call everyone in, I’ll be nearly done and it will be a mad house to get everything ready for baby.
I’m also slightly afraid that if my water does break early that contractions won’t start. My recent lack of real useful contractions has made me wonder if there is something hosing up the system that is preventing my labor from starting despite my cervix showing signs of readiness.
I’ve been talking to the baby, practicing positive affirmations and doing visualizations hoping that clearing my mind will help open my body and convince the baby to come meet us. Or maybe it will just take processing my worries and sending them into the universe: Here’s to hoping!
