With the arrival of our baby boy and the need to actually make a decision about circumcision, I decided to just give up my inner struggle with the decision. I did not feel strongly enough one way or another to fight for an outcome so I left it up to hubby to decide. He was also wishy-washy but ultimately decided to go ahead with it (me by myself would have forgone it but I didn’t feel strongly enough to be able to convince hubby). Because Doodle was born at home he was not eligible for a hospital circumcision by an OB as is routine with most baby boys in America.
At his first well check at our pediatrician I got a list of pediatric surgeons who could do the procedure. After hubby called around and found out the cost ($1500 from one Doctor, a larger portion of which would not be covered by our insurance) and talked to the office about how it would go (one only does the procedure as outpatient surgery at the hospital and would not give us an estimated price until we came in for a consult in case he needed it done under general anesthesia) we started to waver on the decision.
That is until I talked my midwife and she recommended a Mohel (Jewish Rabbi trained in circumcision). Our pediatrician also suggested this route but had no names to share. After hubby talked to the Mohel, it just felt like the better choice for our little man. I view it sort of like an OB versus a midwife. An OB is trained to deal with problems during pregnancy and birth and this is what they expect. Midwives are trained to care for normal pregnancies and deliveries though they are equally qualified to deal with problems should they arise. Likewise, I felt the pediatric surgeons we talked to were expecting a problem as they mostly do the procedure on older babies who had problems and were unable to have it done at birth. The Mohel does probably hundreds of normal procedures each year but is also highly trained in the procedure.
So on Doodle’s two week birthday (yesterday morning) we trekked down to North Miami to see the Mohel. I can’t say the procedure was easy, it definitely was one of the most heart wrenching experiences of my mommying life (right up there with Honeybun choking and turning blue at a few hours old and at 18 months holding her in my arms while she had a full blown seizure) but I felt extremely confident and at ease with the knowledge and expertise of the Mohel. It was probably most traumatizing for poor hubby though, who had to hold Doodle’s legs back while the Mohel did his work (I sheepishly hid behind hubby, gently rubbing his back so I didn’t have to look).
What has amazed me the most, though, is what a good sport Doodle has been. He cried off and on for the first few hours, nursing and taking a few real good naps but by dinner time he was alert and generally happy. He only fussed when we changed his diaper and by this morning he isn’t even crying at diaper changes. It has really shown his laid back and easy going personality which we were already learning about. I’m just so thankful he is not in constant pain and that he is not a fussy little monster like I expected. He is my little trooper and such a brave boy (and will probably be the rough and tumble type that will break an arm and not even cry or tell me!).
Baby after the procedure. The furrowed brow is the only indication of his discomfort. He slept soundly the entire 45 minute drive home, TIGHTLY secured in his car seat (this mommy doesn’t take chances even when my babies are hurting!).
:( He wasn’t sleeping, they can go into shock after such a traumatic and horribly painful procedure. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201109/myths-about-circumcision-you-likely-believe
Tamara,
As mommy to this sweet little man, I can confidently say he was sleeping and not in shock. While I realize the procedure did cause him pain, he was alert and active for over an hour after the procedure and only fell asleep once in the car as he always does and reacted to bumps and curves during the drive home as he always does. I hope you will take the time to ready other parts of my blog and get to know me as a parent aside from this situation before you pass more judgments.
Melissa, you are likely right about the sleep. I apologize for that error. However, the link I provided is accurate and I hope you take the time to read it. Also, this video is amazing and I highly suggest anyone and everyone watch it if they’re in a position to choose or recommend circumcision: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGnpdO4iKQ0.
I hope your little one recovers well.
I wish I could have gotten you this link before yesterday, perhaps you would have felt stronger to leave your little guy intact. I’m glad the procedure went well and that he seems fine now. I hope you will take the time to read over these 2 links, when you feel ready.
Take care and congrats on the birth of your son.
http://circumcision-amothersstory.blogspot.de/
http://www.circfacts.com/
I really wish you had none more research on circumcision and the problems it causes with breastfeeding and sleeping. Not to mention the other health and sexual issues that don’t appear one is sexually active. However if you have another boy please take this website and my post into account next time.
http://www.sexasnatureintendedit.com
Circumcision has done me no favors! I have had bleeding abrasions from intercourse that a foreskin would have prevented. These abrasions have made me leery of having sex with my wife. Without the mechanical lubrication provided by a foreskin, I have to use artificial lubricant or sex would be painful for my wife and me. My parent’s chose this painful and unsatisfactory sex life for me and my wife and I simply cannot fathom why. I would never have chosen to have my foreskin removed. Only 1/16,667 intact males will have a problem with their foreskin, 99% of which can be treated with medicine not surgery. 117 babies die from circumcision a year in the US that is 9/100,000 babies that die each year from a cosmetic surgery. Men have lost their penis, glans, and suffered from deformity caused by the operation. It isn’t right that these children pay the price for a decision their parents made, a decision that should be left up to the owner of the penis. Even those who survive still have problems like mine, though they are seldom discussed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ceht-3xu84I&feature=youtube_gdata_player
They didn’t tell you the functions of the foreskin, but they did lie to you and said it had health benefits. Did they also tell you it pays for their house, their cars, and their children’s college? FYI It is illegal to sell an organ taken from a patient but they still do it.
Foreskin for sale: $155/500µg = $310,000/g = $8,788,345/oz.
http://www.rockland-inc.com/Product.aspx?id=40484
My numbers and claims are supported by these studies:
Dutch Medical society and their stance on RIC
https://www.dropbox.com/s/dhipa1ei2rqj12q/KNMG-viewpoint-Non-therapeutic-circumcision-of-male-minors-27-05-2010-v2%20%281%29.pdf
Meta-analysis of circumcision research
http://www.hindawi.com/isrn/urology/2013/109846/
This document outlines the deaths caused by circumcision in the US.
http://db.tt/0LW1FHVy
All the myths about circumcision and how they are dispelled.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201109/myths-about-circumcision-you-likely-believe
Boy wants to be a girl after botched circumcision
http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/11/09/52144.htm
Cost benefit analysis of circumcision.
http://mdm.sagepub.com/content/24/6/584.abstract
US Navy Study that shows circumcision has no effect on HIV or STI infection rates.
http://www.dtic.mil/cgi-bin/GetTRDoc?AD=ADA458066
Article to Appear in AAP’s “Pediatrics” journal.
http://www.circumstitions.com/Docs/aap-12-europe.pdf
All the statements made my medical organizations about cirucmision, and they are cited.
http://www.cirp.org/library/statements/
Men complaining about being circumcised against their will.
http://www.mendocomplain.com
Vincent,
I am truly sorry to hear how circumcision has negatively affected your life. There are pros and cons to every decision in parenting and life and I assure you I did do diligent research on the topic which you would know if you had actually taken the time to read my previous blog posts rather than passing hasty judgment on my parenting decisions.
In response to your assertion that circumcision causes breastfeeding and sleeping problems I can say it has not caused any such issues for me and my son. He is nursing as usual and sleeping as usual.
The links you’ve provided contain very good relevant information which I hope can be helpful to others in making their decision. I also hope you can take more time to do your own research in the future before passing judgment on people you know nothing about.
I’m so sorry to hear that you decided to go through with this. It looks to me like he’s sleeping to deal with the shock and the pain, more so than because he’s just relaxed and happy. That’s one way the body deals with trauma – and trauma is what he has certainly been through. You just had the most sensitive part of his body cut off, no wonder he’s sleeping to avoid the pain. It’s not like he’s going to cry to you for help – you did this to him, why would he trust you for comfort? I’m just so sorry that he had to go through this for no reason. If it was horrible for you to experience, imagine how much more horrible it was for him?
Please, PLEASE research circumcision more thoroughly, and protect your future sons from this. No man should have to go through life missing part of his penis, and no baby should have to endure that torture as one of his first experiences on earth. :(
Karen,
I respect your opinion and don’t disagree this was traumatic for him. However, I did do a ton of research prior to making this decision and talked to many men and moms who only had positive things to say about having it done (which you would have known had you taken the time to read other parts of my blog). This decision has in no way affected the bond my son and I have and he is already back to his normal self, barely 24 hours later.
He is a baby for goodness sakes. He is not supposed to be brave and a little trooper. Mommy was supposed to protect him from harm. Sorry to tell you but that furrowed brow which is common in cut babies is a sign of trauma. His brain has been permanently changed and damaged because of what you allowed to happen to him.
“this mommy doesn’t take chances even when my babies are hurting!” You took the biggest chance by allowing someone to hack off his foreskin. His foreskin was not a birth defect. It is a healthy, normal, and functional part of HIS body. You allowed a completely unnecessary “cosmetic” procedure on your son and endangered his life since circumcision does kill.
Vanessa,
This is a valid point. However, there are many things parents do every day which are risky for their children. Circumcision has been performed for thousands of years and yes there can be negative outcomes just as birthing a baby in the first place can have negative outcomes for both mother and baby. I hope you will take the time to read my other posts and get to know me before passing any more judgments on the parenting choices I make for my children. I am not one to make decisions without due diligence and you would know that if you had taken the time to read more of my writing rather than passing hasty judgment on me.
If you had truly committed to doing research on cutting your newborn’s penis, I am shocked that you decided to put him through that. Every single person I know who has done independent investigation into the topic come to strongly oppose it. Since no medical association in the world recommends the procedure, the myths that it “prevents” stds and other infections have been thoroughly debunked, and the psychological trauma and lifelong loss of sexual function have been clearly documented, and 117 newborns are killed as a result of the procedure every year….I really wonder what sort of materials you consulted. Unlike boys in the past, your son will grow up in the minority. There is plenty of accessible information for him to consult when he is older. Historically, this has been something done in secret, accepted as normal and not questioned. This is changing rapidly. I’m very sorry for your poor son, but I am also sorry for you who will one day have to face him and explain why you would let this happen to him. As for your claim that he was sleeping – thats a well documented form of disassociation from pain. The idea that cutting the genitals of a baby would not cause extreme shock is simply unbelievable. Despite what you say about your child, the trauma of circumcision has been well documented in medical research. People often will believe ridiculous things to protect themselves from the reality of what they. Mutilators of female genitals say the exact same thing. Soon there will be a day when it will be criminal to inflict this kind of abuse on newborn children.
Duncan,
The research we did, looking at reputable sources (not individual personal opinions) showed a benefit to circumcision. According to The American Academy of Pediatrics in their 2012 Policy Statement, “Evaluation of current evidence indicates that the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks and that the procedure’s benefits justify access to this procedure for families who choose it.” The American Congress of Obstetrics and Gynecologists also supports the AAP statement and the World Health Organization in their 2007 document on Male Circumcision came to the conclusion “there is now conclusive evidence that male circumcision significantly reduces risk of HIV infection in men.” Please don’t accuse people of not having done their research when you your self are misinformed and indeed there are highly respected medical organizations that recognize the benefits of the procedure.
I respect your decision and we went through the same thing with our first boy debating if we should or not as well. We went ahead and did and had no problems. Didn’t affect sleeping, feedings or anything. We have had both of our boys done and will have the third one which will be born here in a month or so as well. I have found that there is always risks associated with every decision that you make in life. And there is always someone there to say that you should have done something else. But you are the parent which is great and you get to way the pros and cons not them. Just like now days everything and anything causes cancer. You get to make the decision on what you want to pat attention to.
Hi Melissa!
I hope you aren’t feeling too overwhelmed with genital integrity activists. I am fiercely opposed to circumcision myself, but I have a lot of sympathy for parents who decide to cut their babies. There are a lot of superstitions and myths that can, unfortunately, be perpetuated by doctors and nurses.
I am writing this NOT to inspire guilt in your heart for what you chose to do to your son, but so that you might reconsider if you ever have more boys. I believe circumcision is America’s take on genital mutilation; we justify it in the same way other cultures justify female genital cutting: http://www.fgmnetwork.org/intro/mgmfgm.html
Again, I prefer to educate people, not guilt them. No one could be more understanding of the decision you made as I am; my parents, whom I love, made the same one. They now both concede that it was the wrong one.
Much peace and love,
Ben
Ben,
I truly appreciate and respect your point of view and wish more adults could so positively convey their opinions.