“Just please, don’t touch me!” No, it’s not my girls arguing in the backseat of the car or during lunch. I wish I could say that’s where I heard it, but in reality it came out of my mouth, directed at Honeybun. Perhaps I should be embarrassed or feel bad about saying such a thing to my child, but in the moment I just couldn’t help myself.
Any mommy knows how demanding a newborn can be. Babies need A LOT of A LOT of things. They need a lot of attention, a lot of love, a lot of affection, a lot of diaper changing, a lot of rocking, a lot of feeding and milk, a lot of PHYSICAL CONTACT. Take the needs of the sweetest little 6 week old baby and add that on top of the needs of a nearly 3 year old and a nearly 5 year old and you have one overstimulated mommy.
Don’t get me wrong, I USUALLY love breastfeeding my babies (except maybe at night or when I’m eating). And I USUALLY love getting hugs and kisses from my big girls. And I USUALLY love the way Doodle snuggles into me after a good feed. And I USUALLY love when my girls want to brush my hair or adorn me lovingly with clips. But there comes an occasional time when Doodle is happy somewhere other than my arms or at my breast and I’m tired and all I want is SPACE. It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be around my children or I don’t want to play with them or watch them or talk to them, I just don’t want to be touched by them. I just want to have my personal space bubble be unbreached for a few, small, insignificant minutes.
I know my girls have to be feeling mommy neglected with all the time I have to spend taking care of Doodle. And I do feel guilty about that so I hug and kiss and love them all I can. And I know they don’t understand why I need space sometimes but the truth of the matter is I just do. Every mommy’s got her own needs and even a mommy deserves to have her needs met sometimes.
