Yesterday was a good blogging day. Wisdom was oozing from me and I wrote almost three entire posts during the 2nd half of the girls’ nap. I was finishing up the 3rd when Honeybun woke up and proud of all I had accomplished. As I finished she gently stroke my arm and whispered “mommy.” Doodle and Sugarplum were still sleeping and I whispered back “yes, honey?” What she said next caught me by surprise. I expected her to ask for a snack as she usually does but instead she whispered “tomorrow can you guys not be on the computer at all?”
I explained to here that I was doing my work and I was almost done. My time on the computer is generally spent working on Beyond Mommying, checking important emails, keeping in touch with far away friends and doing other essential tasks while the girls are playing nicely by themselves. It’s not like I just putz around Facebook or browse the web. I don’t feel like I spend that much time on the computer or that my being on the computer is taking away from them which is why her request caught me off guard.
My children are fed, clean and well rested. I make sure they have time to exercise, learn, create and play. I feel like I’m doing a darn good job at being a mommy. But while I was up all night listening to Doodle thrash and grunt in his bed (and I’m not exaggerating when I say ALL night) I began to get sad. What does it really matter if my children are fed, clean and well rested or that they have time to exercise, learn, create and play if they don’t feel loved and valued? Even now writing this and thinking about my children feeling neglected when I thought I was giving them everything I had makes my eyes well up with tears.
So I made a life changing choice: no internet when the girls are awake. If I can’t get everything done that needs to be done when they are napping or at night when they are in bed then it’s probably not that important. This includes no iPad while nursing Doodle, no checking my e-mail while they finish breakfast and no writing while they color or craft at the table. I realize there will be times I’ll need to check something like directions or pay a bill I forgot about or send an important email (since getting on the phone is nearly impossible!) but I vow to do those things quickly and get back to my kids as soon as possible.
So what does this decision really mean? It means I’ll get more time to exercise, learn, create and play with them. I’ll get to hold them, hug them, kiss them and love them more. I’ll get to make more memories with them and hopefully it will all make our days easier with less fighting, arguing and frustration.
It also means I may not get as much writing done and that my posts will have to start going up in the afternoon or evening but I also hope it means I’ll have more positive and meaningful experiences to write about. I don’t expect it will be easy all the time but it’s a goal I intend to meet because nothing is more important than my children’s happiness.
