I remember the first time I left Honeybun home, she was a few days old and I ran (quickly!) to Babies ‘R’ Us to get her some cutie-patootie girlie clothes for when her Grandma and Grandpa met her for the first time as the one girl outfit I had for her was way too big (she wore it for Valentine’s Day when she was 8 months old). Being my first baby, I cried the whole way there. I was gone a whole 40 minutes but we survived. The first time I left her home with daddy while I went to work (she was 6 weeks old) and I was gone long enough that she required a bottle, again I cried. And a week later when I left her at the childcare center for the first time, I cried again.
I don’t actually remember the first time I left Sugarplum home; I vaguely remember it maybe being a trip to the grocery store? Clearly a case of the “2nd child” and I know I didn’t cry. The first time I left her to go to an American Women’s Club Meeting. I didn’t cry but was worried the whole meeting about how she was doing. I had left her a cup of expressed milk but despite numerous attempts she had previously refused to take it. She didn’t end up needing it that day and I returned a few hours later to find Hubby on the couch with Sugarplum asleep on his chest and Honeybun sitting next to him watching a movie, way past her bedtime. He admitted when Sugarplum fell asleep he was afraid she would wake up and not take the milk and/or have one of her famous screaming fits (see “The Scream Heard Around the Neighborhood”).
I’ve left Doodle a few times while running errands near home, doing so with no tears. But yesterday I left him for the first time when I couldn’t rush home if necessary. I actually left him twice yesterday, and I did cry the first time because I didn’t know how long I’d be gone and I was worried he might need the bottle I had begrudgingly prepared. He didn’t need it.
Then last night I left him home while I went to work. It was the first time he hasn’t accompanied me to teach. Since I only teach 1 hour on Mondays I figured it was better to leave him home as I never feed him while I’m there anyways so I knew he could easily go without feeding during that time. I’ve avoided leaving him home for this short absence not because I worried about how he would do but because I worry about how hubby will cope.
Monday nights I make dinner and we eat as soon as hubby gets home from work and then I leave to teach and the girls are in bed by the time I get home. This is also Doodle’s most fussy time of the day so I worry about hubby getting overwhelmed by getting the girls to bed especially if Doodle is fussing. Well, we are very lucky Doodle is such an easy going baby because when I got home he was fussing slightly but hubby was cool, calm and collected which made me feel better about being able to leave Doodle in the future. It took me a long time to feel comfortable leaving Sugarplum not because I worried about her but because I worried about the stress she put on hubby.
It is very true that every child is different but I think it’s even more true that every parent/child relationship is different and how we cope with each child’s individual quirks, behaviors and temperaments varies widely between each pair.
