In accordance with “The Roy Theory”, my personal theory of developmental stages, Sugarplum is definitely in the “Dictator” phase. She believes she can boss everyone else around and constantly says “I want”. She wants to do whatever she wants and also wants to be in control of what everyone else is doing. If she doesn’t get what she wants she loses all control of herself and it can sometimes take a long time for her to calm down and get control of herself.
We are working on getting Sugarplum to ask for things nicely and to not get upset when she doesn’t get her way, but there is one complicating factor: Honeybun. I predicted that the 5-6 phase would be the “Pleaser” but I’m not sure that’s going to stick. Right now she’s more of the “Mini Mommy.” Tagging on to the “Know-It-All” phase, she now thinks she knows enough to be able to boss around Sugarplum. She is constantly telling Sugarplum what she can and cannot do and I have to remind her she is not in charge. Often Honeybun will tell Sugarplum she can do something and then when I tell Sugarplum she cannot and Honeybun is not in charge, we end up in a major Sugarplum melt-down.
Honeybun’s bossiness has gotten so regular that Sugarplum has bought into her having decision making power and I now hear Sugarplum asking her things instead of asking hubby or me. Yesterday Sugarplum asked Honeybun if she could have a snack out of the cupboard after nap without even acknowledging me. We’re definitely in a trying behavior cycle (see “The Good, The Bad and The Cycle”) which I hope will be done soon. I feel like I spend all day saying:
“You’re using your ‘want’ words again.”
“Can you ask my nicely?”
“Sugarplum, you’re not in charge of me.”
“Honeybun, you’re not in charge of Sugarplum.”
“Sugarplum, is Honeybun the boss of you?”
“Honeybun, it is not your job to tell Sugarplum what to do.”
