How to Ruin a Good Sleeper in 3 Easy Steps

If you ever get bored with your infant sleeping through the night or putting himself to sleep for two 2+ hour haps a day, here’s how you can fix it in 3 easy steps:

Step 1: Get the whole family sick, including the mommy, to the point where everyone is miserable and mommy’s milk supply becomes nearly non-existant.

Step 2: Take the baby who has never seen temperatures below sixTY degress to a place with day time temperatures of sixTEEN and be sure to nap him in at least 3 different places, each with its own new smell, noises and novel things to look at (and be sure to leave items used in baby’s normal sleeping routine at home).

Step 3: Reintroduce every bad sleep habit you’ve worked the past 7 months to eradicate including rocking baby to sleep for naps, feeding baby everytime he wakes at night and bringing baby into bed with you to “dream feed” (ie: use your boob as a pacifier) early in the morning in order to get a few more minutes of rest.

This method has beed tested and proven effective in creating a baby who wakes every 2-3 hours through the night, naps no longer than 1 hour at a time and is a raging lunatic 75% of their waking hours.