Something happens when you become a mom: All of a sudden you no longer care about what others think of you. In a way, you become shameless.
In actuality, it starts before you’re really even a mommy, when you’re pregnant. You go in for your monthly (then bi-monthly then weekly then sometimes daily!) appointments and there are no secrets. You pee in a cup. You get weighed (and not always in private place). You get asked about everything: How do you feel? What are you eating? Are you exercising? How are you sleeping? Sex? How’s your discharge?
Of course, the pregnancy check-ups have NOTHING on the birthing process. You’re poked at, prodded at. Your every move is being watched, documented, recorded. How much and what you drink. You have company in the bathroom. How much and when are you peeing? Any diarrhea? Temperature checks, blood pressure checks, fetal monitoring. How are the contractions, on a scale from 1-10? Do you need anything to help the pain? Hours upon hours of people all up in your business –literally! (Think a c-section is better? I’m pretty sure having your insides splayed out for the world to see is no different!)
And for some of us it continues. When baby is hungry, s/he doesn’t care where you are or what you’re doing they want food and the want it NOW! And if baby’s food comes served in a boob, be ready to pull it out on command. Even when covering to feed, there is a sense of exposure knowing at any moment the blanket could fall, your cover could blow off or your baby could splay an arm in an impromptu game of “I see you!” (and at that moment so will everyone else!)
Then there’s the poop everywhere, the spit up, the food flying around and any embarrassment you may feel about having ill-behaved children quickly fades. You might freak out in the middle of the produce department or break down crying in the newborn clothes section. You find yourself having out-of-body moments where you don’t care who is watching or what they think.
As a mommy you lose all your inhibitions. You become immodest and yes, even shameless. Maybe it’s because you’re so tired or because you don’t have time or energy to worry about it. Maybe it’s because you are constantly having to adjust to a ever-changing you as your body changes, you’re forced to adjust your expectations and try to be the best you can be. Maybe it’s because of all you’ve been through to get to this mommying moment.
Or maybe it’s because in that moment (in every moment, really) all that matters is your children and while your grocery store flip-outs may not be your proudest moments in reality they happen because you care about who your children become. You don’t want your children to become entitled, selfish people. You want them to know right from wrong and to understand the bigger picture of the world. And hopefully you are able to lead by example and have the courage to take ownership of your misbehaviors by apologizing for when you behave badly.
