I feel like I’ve come to a place where my life is stagnant. I’ve come to the realization that the things I am doing are not taking me where I want to go. And now I’m stuck with the decision: do I stick with what I’ve been doing and accept the disappointing results or do I sacrifice to take a risk and try to get what I want even though it may take me backwards?
I don’t know when “mid-life” is or if I’m there, but I do know for a fact, this isn’t any kind of mid-life crisis. I’ve been here before, more times than I’d like to admit. But all the other times my decision was easy: I ran away.
All of my other times of frustration coincided with new opportunities for hubby. These were the times when we moved from here to there, half way across the world and back. When I became frustrated with my job in Oklahoma, hubby was interviewing for jobs all over the country. When I became frustrated with my jobs as Honeybun’s first year wound down, hubby got the opportunity to move to Dublin. As I became lonely and disenchanted in Dublin, hubby’s contract ended and we were given the choice to move back.
Running away isn’t always the best option and I can’t say it ever really took me where I wanted to go, but what it did always give me was hope. The hope that it would be better. The hope that the opportunities I wanted would be available. The hope that it would take me where I wanted to go.
Hubby and I have come to realize we’re nomads. We aren’t meant to be in one place for too long. The longest we’ve ever lived in the same city since graduating college was our first time in South Florida and that was only 2 ½ years. It’s not that we like to give up (ok, maybe I do just a little bit) but that we like to take advantage of new opportunities and love new adventures. Of course, taking chances and new opportunities is becoming increasingly difficult as we now have 3 tiny tag-alongs that weigh heavily on every decision we make.
Of course the running away option doesn’t seem to be in the cards right now and so I’m back to my choice: keep going and be thankful for what I’ve got or take a chance on something with the hope it will be better, knowing it could be even worse?
If you didn’t take a chance, would you always wonder about what could have been? I prefer to take the chance knowing what could have been, and if it doesn’t work out (cough Like living in FL cough) then I know it’s temporary and we can always move on. I come from a long line of nomads myself. Life is too short to be stuck and miserable.
I’m all for taking changes too, but what if you give up what you have to take the chance and then end up with nothing? It’s like playing the lottery…I won’t spend my dollar if I know I’ll want it back when I don’t win!
Very honest post, Melissa. I think the cure to being stagnant is going deeper, not farther, and this post is a great start. Nice one.
Patrika, you always have such a positive view of the world and I appreciate that. I will definitely have to think about how I can go deeper instead of focusing on getting farther!
IMO, you said it yourself at the end, “be thankful,” gratitude is key!
Other ways: building community, deepening relationships, finding ways to give back when you can or just soaking up the beauty of your life when you can’t. You know…