Life has become really overwhelming for me for some reason lately (hence my desire to run off to a deserted island with my family). I think it’s because I’m starting to realize how little of my life I’m actually in control of. And it’s not even that my life is run by three tiny little drill sergeants, it’s the work and school schedules that are pushing me to the brink.
Honeybun’s spring break is next week and we plan to go away. Her break officially stats Thursday afternoon after a half day of school but we still don’t have a plan. We don’t know where we’re going because I’m irritated. I’m frustrated that Honeybun has 11 days off of school but because of my work schedule and hubby’s we can only get away for 4. And I’m frustrated that everything is so expensive because it’s spring break and everyone wants to travel so companies charge more. And I’m irritated that we live so gosh-darn far south and it takes close to 5 hours just to get OUT of Florida!
All the frustration has made my mind return to the dream of homeschooling. I first considered homeschooling when Honeybun was just a few weeks old, I knew she was a bright kid and I worried from the start about how she would do in a traditional school. I did what I could to get her in the best situation possible at our local school (see “Off to a Rocky Start” for our journey), but it still hasn’t met my expectations. We’ve gotten by because I try not to think about it.
The truth is, when I do think about it I get really upset. I get upset because I know she is not living the life she deserves to have. She’s five and I know that five year olds should be playing, exploring, creating, problem solving, make believing, climbing, running and learning through these activities. Five year olds should not be sitting down learning.
This is Honeybun’s typical day:
- 6:30-7:15 wake up, eat breakfast and get ready for school
- 730-1:50 at school
- 1:50-2:30 walk home from school, play and relax
- 2:30-3:00 do homework
- 3:00-5:00 take a nap/rest
- 5:00-6:30 have a snack, play
- 6:30-8:00 eat dinner, get ready for bed
As you can see, there is very little time for playing. She gets pretty much no free-play time at school other than a short recess (the one time she did get free choice, she was so excited to tell me all about it) and usually tells me school is boring and that she didn’t learn anything. Homework is always a struggle and she has starting telling me almost daily “I don’t want to do homework. I’m not going to do it!” (Our homework struggles go way back, see “Parentwork”, “The Forgotten Folder” and “Battle of Mommy versus Educator”.)
Yes, I could take away her nap/resting time, but she needs that time to rest her body after a long day of inappropriate learning experiences and expectations (as discussed in “The Needed Nap”). And because she has to wake up so early, if we did without nap she’d need to go to bed earlier and then we wouldn’t get to have a family dinner which is so important to us. It’s a tough situation, but I can tell you that without the time to rest, the point of a family dinner is lost because she just can’t handle it.
It breaks my heart to see her already hating school. It makes me sad to know that she should have a better day and more time to play. It makes me want to take her away from her frustrations and show her the world. I want to help her learn in her own way and time. I want her to be curious and love learning new things.
Each day I move closer and closer to pulling the trigger and switching to homeschool because I no longer believe in the American school system. And I don’t think it’s just public schools, I think private and charter schools are just as bad with placing unrealistically advanced and mature expectations on young children. I truly feel we have lost sight of what how young children learn and what young children really need and until we come back to putting children’s needs first, I think America will continue to see a shift towards parents taking over their children’s education and choosing to homeschool.
People don’t continue to utilize other professionals (like doctors, lawyers, accountants, etc.) whom they don’t feel have their best interests at heart so why do we continue to entrust our youngest citizens to a system that is failing them?
This is a hard one for me. Though I agree that expectations are too high too soon, I am not a homeschooler … I think I’d be a terrible teacher (though I have been a teacher to children that are not my own!). The way I deal with it is that I don;t stress my kids out after school, I don’t try to rush to lesson after lesson (even if we do go to tons of lessons). Don’t want to do homework? Don’t do it. Deal with the consequences. They are in 1 st and 2 nd grade. I take a deep breath. I am not perfect, nor are my kids, nor are the teachers and we are all doing the best we can.