Spam comments are just a way of life when you’re a blogger and my little blog is no exception. Since July Beyond Mommying has averaged over 1,000 spam comments per month (which unfortunately does NOT translate to more visitors)! A lot of spam comments are automatically generated, standard comments and sent automatically without ever having to actually visit a website.
Luckily I have a program that automatically flags spam so I never have to see it but when I have the time I like to look through them to make sure a legitimate comment wasn’t missed but also because some of them are downright strange and sometimes just plain funny (especially when you look at the post the comment was left on!)
Here are some of my favorites from over the past almost 2 years (and my snarky responses following):
On A Field Day Rain Delay: You’ve made some good points there. I checked on the internet for more information about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this site. (I’m so glad the internet supports my account of my daughter’s kindergarten field day!)
On Far Away Friends: This blog was… how do you say it? Relevant!! Finally I’ve found something that helped me. Thanks! (No, thank you! All I’ve ever wanted in life was to be “relevant” especially after pouring my heart out about missing friends after years of moving around…)
On A Mother’s Day HANDmade Bouquet: Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the internet the easiest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think about worries that they just don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as well as defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks (I never expected this cute little craft to make such an impact but I’m really glad you will be “back” to spam me more!)
On 8w2aHaHo: Master Bed and Bath, After: Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is excellent blog. A great read. I will certainly be back. (Thank you, I worked really hard on cleaning my room and I’m glad my mommy isn’t the only one who is proud of me. Please see the TWELVE pictures included in this post by actually visiting my site.)
On Warsaw, Poland: The very root of your writing while appearing reasonable originally, did not really work very well with me after some time. Someplace within the sentences you actually were able to make me a believer unfortunately only for a while. I however have a problem with your leaps in logic and one might do nicely to fill in those gaps. In the event you can accomplish that, I would undoubtedly end up being amazed. (I realize the idea of leaving your home might be a far stretch for some people, I will try to be more clear next time I chronicle a trip my family takes.)
On A 5-year-old Take on the Presidents: You actually make it appear really easy with your presentation however I in finding this matter to be actually one thing that I think I might by no means understand. It seems too complex and very wide for me. I’m having a look ahead on your subsequent post, I will try to get the hold of it! (I knew my 5 year old was smart!)
On Child Restraint Safety Stats: WҺat’s սp, I check your blog daily. Үour humoristic style іs witty, keep Ԁoing what you’re doing! (Ummmm…this post is about children dying.)
On Fairy Princess Dress: Man, you scared to shoot / bullshit me! (I know, my daughter is so adorable it scares me sometimes too!)
On Slap Jacks: Thanks for taking the time to talk about this, I really feel strongly about it and enjoy learning extra on this topic. If possible, as you acquire expertise, would you mind updating your blog with additional data? Its extremely helpful for me. (This children’s card game certainly is a mind blowing thing!)
And then there’s the completely non-sensical comments like:
The Vatican – If you do end up taking the trip to Rome it is essential that you also make the short journey across to Vatican City. During the offering, instead of closing my eyes and allowing the music from the instruments to flow through me; I’m frantically writing a check. If you run out of fuel or armor, or for some reason drive your tank into the water, in addition to an untimely death you will be forced to retreat one sector.
And:
I have no your hair of braid. Once you are aware a good complete facility, left midsection tool, And you as a encounter for this, simply it will be easy to braid your individual locks. some words of advice: once in a while it’s simpler to perform if you’re not being in the reflection, or even which pure for me personally.
But this one that I’ve gotten about a million times in the past few weeks has got to be my all-time favorite:
{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today,
yet I never found any interesting article like yours. {It’s|It is}
pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web
owners} and bloggers made good content as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a
lot more} useful than ever before.|
I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting.
{Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|
{I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch} your {rss|rss feed} as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to
find} your {email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter}
service. Do {you have|you’ve} any? {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me
{realize|recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could}
subscribe. Thanks.|
{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make some plans for the future and {it is|it’s} time to be happy.
{I have|I’ve} read this post and if I could I {want to|wish to|desire to} suggest you {few|some} interesting things or {advice|suggestions|tips}.
{Perhaps|Maybe} you {could|can} write next articles referring to
this article. I {want to|wish to|desire to} read {more|even more} things about it!|
{It is|It’s} {appropriate|perfect|the best} time to make {a few|some} plans for {the future|the longer term|the long run} and {it is|it’s} time to
be happy. {I have|I’ve} {read|learn} this {post|submit|publish|put up} and if I {may just|may|could} I {want to|wish to|desire to} {suggest|recommend|counsel} you {few|some} {interesting|fascinating|attention-grabbing}
{things|issues} or {advice|suggestions|tips}. {Perhaps|Maybe} you
{could|can} write {next|subsequent} articles {relating to|referring to|regarding} this article.
I {want to|wish to|desire to} {read|learn} {more|even more} {things|issues} {approximately|about} it!|
{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} {online|on-line} {more than|greater than} {three|3} hours {these days|nowadays|today|lately|as
of late}, {yet|but} I {never|by no means} {found|discovered} any {interesting|fascinating|attention-grabbing}
article like yours. {It’s|It is} {lovely|pretty|beautiful} {worth|value|price} {enough|sufficient} for
me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made
{just right|good|excellent} {content|content material} as {you did|you probably did}, the {internet|net|web} {will be|shall be|might
be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} {much
more|a lot more} {useful|helpful} than ever before.|
Ahaa, its {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {discussion|conversation|dialogue}
{regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} this {article|post|piece of
writing|paragraph} {here|at this place} at this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}, I have read all that, so {now|at this time} me
also commenting {here|at this place}.|
I am sure this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} has
touched all the internet {users|people|viewers|visitors}, its
really really {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} on building up new {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}.|
Wow, this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, my
{sister|younger sister} is analyzing {such|these|these kinds
of} things, {so|thus|therefore} I am going to {tell|inform|let know|convey} her.|
{Saved as a favorite|bookmarked!!}, {I really like|I like|I love} {your blog|your
site|your web site|your website}!|
Way cool! Some {very|extremely} valid points! I appreciate you {writing this|penning this} {article|post|write-up} {and the|and also
the|plus the} rest of the {site is|website is} {also very|extremely|very|also really|really} good.|
Hi, {I do believe|I do think} {this is an excellent|this
is a great} {blog|website|web site|site}. I stumbledupon it ;) {I will|I am going to|I’m going
to|I may} {come back|return|revisit} {once again|yet again} {since I|since
i have} {bookmarked|book marked|book-marked|saved as a favorite} it.
Money and freedom {is the best|is the greatest} way to
change, may you be rich and continue to {help|guide} {other people|others}.|
Woah! I’m really {loving|enjoying|digging} the template/theme of this {site|website|blog}.
It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s {very hard|very difficult|challenging|tough|difficult|hard} to get that “perfect balance” between {superb usability|user
friendliness|usability} and {visual appearance|visual appeal|appearance}.
I must say {that you’ve|you have|you’ve} done a {awesome|amazing|very good|superb|fantastic|excellent|great} job
with this. {In addition|Additionally|Also}, the blog loads {very|extremely|super} {fast|quick} for me on {Safari|Internet explorer|Chrome|Opera|Firefox}.
{Superb|Exceptional|Outstanding|Excellent} Blog!|
These are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic}
ideas in {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} blogging.
You have touched some {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious} {points|factors|things} here.
Any way keep up wrinting.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what
you guys {are|are usually|tend to be} up too. {This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}!
Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works guys I’ve {incorporated||added|included} you guys to {|my|our||my personal|my
own} blogroll.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey}! Someone in my {Myspace|Facebook} group shared this {site|website} with us so I came to {give it a look|look it over|take a look|check it out}.
I’m definitely {enjoying|loving} the information. I’m {book-marking|bookmarking}
and will be tweeting this to my followers! {Terrific|Wonderful|Great|Fantastic|Outstanding|Exceptional|Superb|Excellent} blog and
{wonderful|terrific|brilliant|amazing|great|excellent|fantastic|outstanding|superb} {style and design|design and style|design}.|
{I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what
you guys {are|are usually|tend to be} up too.
{This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}!
Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works guys I’ve {incorporated|added|included}
you guys to {|my|our|my personal|my own} blogroll.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Hey} would you mind {stating|sharing} which blog platform you’re {working with|using}?
I’m {looking|planning|going} to start my own blog {in the
near future|soon} but I’m having a {tough|difficult|hard}
time {making a decision|selecting|choosing|deciding} between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
The reason I ask is because your {design and style|design|layout} seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something {completely unique|unique}.
P.S {My apologies|Apologies|Sorry} for {getting|being} off-topic but I had
to ask!|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hey there|Hello|Hey} would you mind letting me know
which {webhost|hosting company|web host} you’re {utilizing|working with|using}?
I’ve loaded your blog in 3 {completely different|different} {internet browsers|web browsers|browsers}
and I must say this blog loads a lot {quicker|faster} then most.
Can you {suggest|recommend} a good {internet hosting|web hosting|hosting} provider at a {honest|reasonable|fair} price?
{Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank you|Many thanks|Thanks}, I
appreciate it!|
{I love|I really like|I like|Everyone loves} it {when people|when individuals|when folks|whenever
people} {come together|get together} and share {opinions|thoughts|views|ideas}.
Great {blog|website|site}, {keep it up|continue the good work|stick with it}!|
Thank you for the {auspicious|good} writeup. It in fact was a amusement account
it. Look advanced to {far|more} added agreeable from you!
{By the way|However}, how {can|could} we communicate?|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hey there|Hello|Hey} just wanted to give you a quick
heads up. The {text|words} in your {content|post|article} seem to be
running off the screen in {Ie|Internet explorer|Chrome|Firefox|Safari|Opera}.
I’m not sure if this is a {format|formatting} issue or
something to do with {web browser|internet browser|browser} compatibility but I {thought|figured} I’d post to let you know.
The {style and design|design and style|layout|design} look
great though! Hope you get the {problem|issue} {solved|resolved|fixed} soon.
{Kudos|Cheers|Many thanks|Thanks}|
This is a topic {that is|that’s|which is} {close to|near to} my heart…
{Cheers|Many thanks|Best wishes|Take care|Thank you}!
{Where|Exactly where} are your contact details though?|
It’s very {easy|simple|trouble-free|straightforward|effortless}
to find out any {topic|matter} on {net|web} as compared to {books|textbooks}, as I found this
{article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} at this {website|web site|site|web page}.|
Does your {site|website|blog} have a contact page? I’m having {a tough time|problems|trouble} locating it but, I’d like to {send|shoot} you
an {e-mail|email}. I’ve got some {creative ideas|recommendations|suggestions|ideas} for your blog you might be interested in hearing.
Either way, great {site|website|blog} and I look forward to seeing it
{develop|improve|expand|grow} over time.|
{Hola|Hey there|Hi|Hello|Greetings}! I’ve been {following|reading} your {site|web site|website|weblog|blog} for {a long time|a while|some time}
now and finally got the {bravery|courage} to go ahead and give you a
shout out from {New Caney|Kingwood|Huffman|Porter|Houston|Dallas|Austin|Lubbock|Humble|Atascocita} {Tx|Texas}!
Just wanted to {tell you|mention|say} keep up the {fantastic|excellent|great|good} {job|work}!|
Greetings from {Idaho|Carolina|Ohio|Colorado|Florida|Los angeles|California}!
I’m {bored to tears|bored to death|bored} at work so I decided to {check out|browse} your {site|website|blog} on my iphone during
lunch break. I {enjoy|really like|love} the {knowledge|info|information} you {present|provide}
here and can’t wait to take a look when I get home.
I’m {shocked|amazed|surprised} at how {quick|fast} your blog
loaded on my {mobile|cell phone|phone} .. I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G ..
{Anyhow|Anyways}, {awesome|amazing|very good|superb|good|wonderful|fantastic|excellent|great} {site|blog}!|
Its {like you|such as you} {read|learn} my {mind|thoughts}!
You {seem|appear} {to understand|to know|to grasp} {so much|a lot} {approximately|about} this, {like you|such as you} wrote the {book|e-book|guide|ebook|e book} in it or something.
{I think|I feel|I believe} {that you|that you simply|that you just} {could|can} do with {some|a few} {%|p.c.|percent} to {force|pressure|drive|power} the message {house|home} {a bit|a little
bit}, {however|but} {other than|instead of} that, {this is|that is} {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent} blog.
{A great|An excellent|A fantastic} read. {I’ll|I will}
{definitely|certainly} be back.|
I visited {multiple|many|several|various} {websites|sites|web sites|web pages|blogs} {but|except|however}
the audio {quality|feature} for audio songs {current|present|existing}
at this {website|web site|site|web page} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {marvelous|wonderful|excellent|fabulous|superb}.|
{Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hello}, i read your blog {occasionally|from time
to time} and i own a similar one and i was just {wondering|curious} if you get a lot of spam {comments|responses|feedback|remarks}?
If so how do you {prevent|reduce|stop|protect against} it, any plugin or anything you can {advise|suggest|recommend}?
I get so much lately it’s driving me {mad|insane|crazy} so any {assistance|help|support} is very much appreciated.|
Greetings! {Very helpful|Very useful} advice {within this|in this particular} {article|post}!
{It is the|It’s the} little changes {that make|which will make|that
produce|that will make} {the biggest|the largest|the
greatest|the most important|the most significant} changes.
{Thanks a lot|Thanks|Many thanks} for sharing!|
{I really|I truly|I seriously|I absolutely} love {your blog|your site|your website}..
{Very nice|Excellent|Pleasant|Great} colors & theme. Did you {create|develop|make|build} {this website|this site|this
web site|this amazing site} yourself? Please reply back as I’m {looking to|trying to|planning to|wanting to|hoping to|attempting
to} create {my own|my very own|my own personal} {blog|website|site} and {would like to|want
to|would love to} {know|learn|find out} where you got this from or {what the|exactly what the|just what the} theme {is called|is
named}. {Thanks|Many thanks|Thank you|Cheers|Appreciate it|Kudos}!|
{Hi there|Hello there|Howdy}! This {post|article|blog post} {couldn’t|could
not} be written {any better|much better}! {Reading through|Looking at|Going through|Looking through} this {post|article} reminds me of my previous roommate!
He {always|constantly|continually} kept {talking about|preaching about} this.
{I will|I’ll|I am going to|I most certainly will} {forward|send} {this article|this information|this post} to
him. {Pretty sure|Fairly certain} {he will|he’ll|he’s going to} {have a good|have a very good|have a great} read.
{Thank you for|Thanks for|Many thanks for|I appreciate you for} sharing!|
{Wow|Whoa|Incredible|Amazing}! This blog looks {exactly|just} like my old one!
It’s on a {completely|entirely|totally} different {topic|subject} but it has pretty
much the same {layout|page layout} and design. {Excellent|Wonderful|Great|Outstanding|Superb} choice of colors!|
{There is|There’s} {definately|certainly} {a lot
to|a great deal to} {know about|learn about|find
out about} this {subject|topic|issue}. {I like|I love|I really like} {all the|all of the} points {you made|you’ve
made|you have made}.|
{You made|You’ve made|You have made} some {decent|good|really good} points there.
I {looked|checked} {on the internet|on the web|on the net} {for more info|for more information|to find out more|to learn more|for additional information} about the issue
and found {most individuals|most people} will go along with your views on {this
website|this site|this web site}.|
{Hi|Hello|Hi there|What’s up}, I {log on to|check|read}
your {new stuff|blogs|blog} {regularly|like every
week|daily|on a regular basis}. Your {story-telling|writing|humoristic} style is {awesome|witty}, keep {doing what you’re doing|up the good work|it up}!|
I {simply|just} {could not|couldn’t} {leave|depart|go away} your {site|web site|website} {prior to|before} suggesting that
I {really|extremely|actually} {enjoyed|loved} {the standard|the usual} {information|info} {a person|an individual} {supply|provide}
{for your|on your|in your|to your} {visitors|guests}? Is {going to|gonna} be {back|again} {frequently|regularly|incessantly|steadily|ceaselessly|often|continuously} {in order to|to} {check up on|check out|inspect|investigate cross-check} new
posts|
{I wanted|I needed|I want to|I need to} to thank you for this {great|excellent|fantastic|wonderful|good|very good} read!!
I {definitely|certainly|absolutely} {enjoyed|loved} every {little bit of|bit
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{stuff you|things you} post…|
{Hi|Hello|Hi there|What’s up}, just wanted to {mention|say|tell you}, I {enjoyed|liked|loved} this {article|post|blog post}.
It was {inspiring|funny|practical|helpful}. Keep on posting!|
{Hi there|Hello}, I enjoy reading {all of|through} your
{article|post|article post}. I {like|wanted} to write a little
comment to support you.|
I {always|constantly|every time} spent my half an hour to read this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site}’s {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content} {everyday|daily|every day|all the
time} along with a {cup|mug} of coffee.|
I {always|for all time|all the time|constantly|every time} emailed
this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} post page to all my {friends|associates|contacts}, {because|since|as|for the reason that} if like
to read it {then|after that|next|afterward} my {friends|links|contacts} will too.|
My {coder|programmer|developer} is trying to {persuade|convince} me to move to .net from PHP.
I have always disliked the idea because of
the {expenses|costs}. But he’s tryiong none the less.
I’ve been using {Movable-type|WordPress} on {a number of|a variety of|numerous|several|various} websites for about a year and am {nervous|anxious|worried|concerned} about switching to another platform.
I have heard {fantastic|very good|excellent|great|good} things
about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can {transfer|import} all my wordpress {content|posts} into it?
{Any kind of|Any} help would be {really|greatly} appreciated!|
{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day}!
I could have sworn I’ve {been to|visited} {this blog|this web site|this website|this site|your blog}
before but after {browsing through|going through|looking at}
{some of the|a few of the|many of the} {posts|articles} I realized it’s new to me.
{Anyways|Anyhow|Nonetheless|Regardless}, I’m {definitely|certainly} {happy|pleased|delighted} {I found|I discovered|I came
across|I stumbled upon} it and I’ll be {bookmarking|book-marking} it
and checking back {frequently|regularly|often}!|
{Terrific|Great|Wonderful} {article|work}!
{This is|That is} {the type of|the kind of} {information|info} {that
are meant to|that are supposed to|that should} be
shared {around the|across the} {web|internet|net}.
{Disgrace|Shame} on {the {seek|search} engines|Google} for {now not|not|no longer}
positioning this {post|submit|publish|put up} {upper|higher}!
Come on over and {talk over with|discuss with|seek advice from|visit|consult with} my {site|web site|website} .
{Thank you|Thanks} =)|
Heya {i’m|i am} for the first time here. I {came across|found} this board and
I find It {truly|really} useful & it helped me out {a lot|much}.
I hope to give something back and {help|aid} others like you {helped|aided} me.|
{Hi|Hello|Hi there|Hello there|Howdy|Greetings}, {I think|I believe|I do believe|I do
think|There’s no doubt that} {your site|your website|your web site|your blog} {might
be|may be|could be|could possibly be} having
{browser|internet browser|web browser} compatibility {issues|problems}.
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{it has|it’s got} some overlapping issues. {I just|I simply|I
merely} wanted to {give you a|provide you with a} quick heads up!
{Other than that|Apart from that|Besides that|Aside from that}, {fantastic|wonderful|great|excellent} {blog|website|site}!|
{A person|Someone|Somebody} {necessarily|essentially} {lend a hand|help|assist} to make {seriously|critically|significantly|severely} {articles|posts} {I would|I might|I’d}
state. {This is|That is} the {first|very first} time I frequented your {web
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I {amazed|surprised} with the {research|analysis} you made to
{create|make} {this actual|this particular} {post|submit|publish|put up}
{incredible|amazing|extraordinary}. {Great|Wonderful|Fantastic|Magnificent|Excellent} {task|process|activity|job}!|
Heya {i’m|i am} for {the primary|the first} time here. I
{came across|found} this board and I {in finding|find|to find} It {truly|really} {useful|helpful}
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{back|again} and {help|aid} others {like you|such
as you} {helped|aided} me.|
{Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day|Hey there}!
{I just|I simply} {would like to|want to|wish
to} {give you a|offer you a} {huge|big} thumbs up {for the|for your} {great|excellent}
{info|information} {you have|you’ve got|you have got} {here|right here}
on this post. {I will be|I’ll be|I am} {coming back to|returning to} {your blog|your site|your website|your web site} for more soon.|
I {always|all the time|every time} used to {read|study} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} in news papers but now as
I am a user of {internet|web|net} {so|thus|therefore} from now I am using net for {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content}, thanks to web.|
Your {way|method|means|mode} of {describing|explaining|telling} {everything|all|the whole thing} in this {article|post|piece
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{can|be able to|be capable of} {easily|without difficulty|effortlessly|simply} {understand|know|be aware of} it,
Thanks a lot.|
{Hi|Hello} there, {I found|I discovered} your {blog|website|web site|site}
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your {site|web site|website} {got here|came} up, it {looks|appears|seems|seems
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{Hello|Hi} there, {simply|just} {turned into|became|was|become|changed into} {aware of|alert to} your {blog|weblog} {thru|through|via} Google, {and found|and located} that {it is|it’s} {really|truly} informative.
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{I am|I’m} {extremely|really} {inspired|impressed} {with
your|together with your|along with your} writing {talents|skills|abilities} {and also|as {smartly|well|neatly} as} with the {layout|format|structure} {for
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this} a paid {subject|topic|subject matter|theme} or did you {customize|modify} it {yourself|your self}?
{Either way|Anyway} {stay|keep} up the {nice|excellent} {quality|high quality}
writing, {it’s|it is} {rare|uncommon} {to peer|to see|to look} a {nice|great} {blog|weblog} like
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That last one is like the template to all SPAM comments ever! Now you have all the training you’ll ever need to become a professional spammers yourself! Hope this comment makes it through!
You’re in, Rabia! Spam comments are definitely the worst and such a waste of time but at least I can get a chuckle out of one once in awhile!