I’m So Glad They Told Me…

There has been a recent blogger revolution, started by blogger Stephanie Sprenger, in response to another article by Jenny Studenroth Gerson which paints a pretty picture of the transition to motherhood, despite all the fear mongering that gets constantly thrown at mommies-to-be.  Stephanie’s response sheds light on the other side of mommyhood, the people who struggle to transition and do miss parts of their old life.

I see both sides of the picture.  I am a mommy who, like Jenny, transitioned easily and loves my mommy life.  I wouldn’t want to go back to a time before my children, ever.   But I also see Stephanie’s side, that it’s not always sparkles and rainbows (though with two little girls, there are a lot of sparkles.  Everywhere!)  The transition can be hard, there are moments where you just want to jump into the lake out back.  And the scariest, and perhaps least talked about part is not that both sides exist, but that both sets of feelings can (and will) happen AT THE SAME TIME.

That you will be blissfully happy to have your sweet little darlings at the same time that you want to throw them out the window after they’ve been crying for three hours straight.  That you will be in awe of this tiny little being’s fascination with their world at the same time that you are red with anger for the entire bottle of baby shampoo that you have to clean up from all over the bathroom.  That you will be taken aback and proud of your child when they assert themselves so maturely at the same time that you are infuriated with their audacity to talk back at such an inappropriate time.

I get it, all of it.  I’ve been doing this mommy thing for a long time.  I’ve had the sweet, easy going newborn and the one that cries incessantly for no reason.  I’ve had the calm, cuddly and easy going toddler and the one that is rambunctious, wild, non-stop, and highstrung.  I’ve had the strong, confident and assertive preschooler and I’ve had the one that is sensitive, quiet and shy.

And after all of it, I’m so glad they told me my life would never be the same.

Because I could not imagine my life without my sweet little babies.

I may not remember what if feels like to sleep in, but I can’t imagine a sweeter face to wake up to.

I may lose my patience and yell sometimes but it’s never because I don’t love them or this life.

I may not get to do many things for me, but all the things I do for them fulfills me.

I may spend my days cooking, cleaning, teaching, and guiding, but I don’t even know how else I would fill my days.

I may not get to see my friends much, but I know that my children need me while they are small and it won’t last.

I may trip all over toys in the night, but I would walk through quicksand if they needed me.

I may not love every second of it but I love them more than words can say.

I may be more exhausted than I’ve ever known in my life but my days are (mostly) filled with laughter and love.

I may not feel like the me I was, but I love the me that I am.

I’m so glad they told me my life would never be the same because I wouldn’t want it to be.