A few weeks ago the kids and I had a play date with Honeybun’s best friend from kindergarten and her little brother who is Sugarplum’s age. The visit started as usual, the bigger four excitedly ran off to play together and Doodle was overwhelmed with curiosity with all the new toys at his fingertips and us mommies settled in on the couch for a nice visit while everyone was happy.
I had just publicly announced my pregnancy on Beyond Mommying but hadn’t told many people in person other than family. My friend didn’t say anything at first so I tentatively said something like “so if you haven’t read the blog this week, I’m pregnant again…” She of course was overjoyed, knowing of my long-time desire for a 4th baby.
We chatted for a while about morning sickness and house hunting and intervened in a few small children’s skirmishes. And as we chatted, Doodle approached me, said “mill-mill” and squeezed his little fist indicating he would like some milk. I picked him up, strew him across my lap and gave him a boob as I had for the past 20 months. My friend (curiously, not harshly or judgingly said) “so, are you going to have to stop breastfeeding now that you’re pregnant?”
It’s common advice that women should not continue breastfeeding while pregnant, largely based on the misconception that nursing causes uterine contractions which might cause a miscarriage. I have never seen any study confirming this phenomenon nor any other risks of nursing while pregnant and chalk it up to an old wive’s tale and misunderstandings of how a woman’s body works.
The truth is, I never even considered weaning Doodle because of the pregnancy and in fact am more worried about the pregnancy taking away the milk he needs.
My milk basically dried up by the end of the first trimester both of my last pregnancies when I was still nursing each of the girls in the morning only. Honeybun took her last feed Christmas Eve morning, refused it Christmas day and never asked again. I was 9 weeks pregnant with Sugarplum. When I was 11 weeks pregnant with Doodle, I had been nursing Sugarplum for 27 months and was ready to be done and waiting for her to be. One morning she latched on for not longer than a minute, came off and said “mommy milk all gone!” I took the opportunity and cut her off then and there!
But Doodle has special circumstances and I’ve always hoped to nurse him full time until 2 years old. He can’t have cow’s milk due to digestive issues after even just one lick of butter or bite of brownies (in the form of diaper disasters for days). And even most non-dairy baby and toddler formulas contain corn syrup (or starch or something corny). And milk substitutes are not nearly as nutritious as cow’s milk (unless I create a blend to give him adequate protein, fat, calcium and vitamins…). So breastmilk remains the best, easiest and healthiest option for us.
It’s hard to tell how the pregnancy has affected my milk since I can’t see how much he is actually getting. But he still wants to nurse 3-4 times a day, though as I approached the 10-11 week mark, he started to linger and I’m not sure how much milk he is actually getting versus how much is just snuggling. But I’m okay with it since hopefully he is getting something!
And his pediatrician agrees it’s the best choice for him (though he fully supports weaning and dairy substitutes as well, if I chose to go that route). And my midwife fully supports me continuing to breastfeed Doodle and nourishing both my babies as long as I can with no concerns for the safety of the pregnancy.
So a nursing we will go, until he is two (and I will feel more comfortable cutting back on milk altogether) or he no longer wants to nurse or the milk is truly all gone.
But I will say, I don’t intend to tandem nurse. Another 5 months of pregnancy and probably two years of nursing another baby will be more than enough child nourishing for me!
