I’ve been with hubby for over 12 years. 12 years. While it may not seem like a long time, a lot has changed!
We met in the fall of 2002, before Facebook and Skype even existed. When most people still used 35mm cameras (try taking a selfie with one of those, I have many from our early dating days). When AOL Instant Messenger was the cool way to communicate. And while everyone had cell phones, texting was pretty much non-existent and camera phones and internet had just been thought of! Hubby and I used to call each other on our dorm room land lines since we only had to dial 4 numbers and it didn’t cost us any minutes (you know, back in the day when you had a very limited number of calling minutes each month).
But you know what, I’m glad we fell in love during that time.
I’m glad that we had to hear each other’s voices and have the nerve to ask each other things outright rather than hiding behind a cell phone screen, typing away.
I’m glad that we spent our first Christmas apart falling asleep on the phone with each other.
I’m glad that we were able to miss each other and grow fonder when we were apart instead of having instant connectivity. That year I spent 7 days on a boat in the Caribbean Sea, only getting to talk to him once when we docked in Puerto Rico and I spent three weeks without seeing his face and I loved it even more when we returned to school and each other in January.
When we graduated college almost exactly ten years ago, we’d never even heard of Skype or Facetime. When hubby got into grad school in Oklahoma and I got offered a contract with a small ballet company in Atlanta, we had to make a choice: stick together or split apart. We both knew we wanted a future together and I knew that we were the type of couple that needed physical contact and that we might not survive a long-distance relationship. I chose to go to Oklahoma with him because I knew he would have done the same had I gotten into grad school (but I didn’t).
I’m glad that we chose to grow our love face-to-face. That I got to hold hubby’s hand when I told him I loved him rather than holding my smartphone.
I’m glad that we never got in a fight over misunderstood tone. And if we didn’t have time to talk, it wasn’t that important.
We were married 7 1/2 years ago, still long before camera phones and social media were popular (or at least before I cared). Our wedding happened back in the day when people would place disposable cameras on the tables for people to take pictures of the wedding festivities (we didn’t, we hired two professional photographers and had my sister’s good friend video tape everything instead).
It was before people stood to see the brides entrance and raised their phones to capture the moment. It was before #hashtags and instant sharing. It was back when people clapped as you made your entrance as Mr. and Mrs. at the reception and watched quietly, taking in your love, while you had your first dance rather than snapping, Tweeting and Instagraming every moment. And I’m very thankful for that. (Can you believe I even planned our whole wedding without Pinterest?!?!)
I’m glad that we got to enjoy our day with our closest family and friends, without having to invite the entire outside world in.
I’m glad that our love blossomed in the real world. That there was nothing virtual or digital about our beginning.
I’m glad that our hurting or angry words were spoken because their impact is stronger and results are instant. And while they can’t be taken back, spoken words are more easily resolved and don’t linger in cyberspace.
I’m glad that we became The Roys hand-in-hand, heart-to-heart. I’m so glad that I found love before technology took over the world.
This is my second post in the March Marriage Challenge hosted by The Eyes of a Boy and Huppie Mama. Check out my first post, How To Protect Your Marriage While Managing a Move as well as all the rest of the great posts in the series.
I am the exact opposite – I love that I can share my life & adventures with everyone. I also love seeing what everyone else shares. I am closer to people and much more connected to others now that there is all this awesome technology.
I love sharing, too, Robin. I just think falling in love now would be so much harder because connecting is so much easier, but oftentimes less sincere and deep.
Sharing our lives via social media is great, but it’s not for everyone. It’s also not for everything. I’m glad you got to have the wedding that was totally perfect for you! =D
Thanks, Dawn. I love social media now and spend way more time sharing my life than I probably need to, but I definitely feel like our love grew more naturally without screens between us!
It is very hard to find love and a true connection in an ‘automatic’ world- this was a great post and retrospective sentiment! Sometimes I wihs I could unplug and gt back to the basics in dating!
Jenna, I don’t know if I could survive in today’s dating world of quick connections and focus on finding “the one” instead of just taking the time to get to know each other genuinely.
Oh what a lovely post! I have a love/hate relationship with technology in my marrige.
I do as well, Elizabeth! While I hate that my husband and I only text nowadays, I know that we wouldn’t be in touch at all during the day without it.
Love your blog as always! I agree though, ever since technology took over all you hear and see are people on their phones. How can you be in a relationship when you just text one another!? love your thoughts.
Thanks, Tahnee! I agree, I can not even imagine trying to fall in love without the personal connection only face-to-face (or at least vocal) communication provides.
What a lovely post. I met my husband in 2000 so everything here rings true for us as well. I can’t imagine dating these days – so much of the personal contact we had has now been overtaken by digital media. But then again, dating 15 years ago was different to the 15 years before that. Everything changes. I’m glad we did it like we did though :) #WeekendBlogHop
You are so right, meeting and dating is constantly evolving but I don’t think I’d be very good at it now!
So true! The first few years hubby and I were together, I had to develop film!
Tammi, my 6 year old found my box of negatives a few months ago and was flabbergasted by them. “What do you mean these are the pictures? Why aren’t they just on your camera?” I remember the suspense of having to WAIT for your pictures and the joy when you finally got them back!
Sharing via social media has its pros and cons. My daughter lives 3 hours from me and we are both so busy, we do not always have time for the phone. If it weren’t for FB and texting, I would never talk to her!
Kelly, I definitely do not discount the amazingness of technology, especially after living overseas when my daughters were too young to talk on the phone. Them being able to Skype with their grandparents was irreplaceable but I don’t know that I could have or would have fallen in love with my husband like we did if technology had enabled a distance between us.
The dating world is crazy different now. I remember it being much harder to connect so every date was exciting because you were able to reconnect!
Exactly! You had to make the best of every second because you never knew when you’d be able to talk/see each other again. Now with social media and texting, I can let hubby know anytime that I love him (which I appreciate) but I’m glad my relationship had years to flourish before it was an option.
This made me teary. We, too, were married before hashtags, and I feel very blessed for that.
It makes me so sad at weddings now when people are so focused on sharing every moment on social media that they can’t enjoy any of it! I still get butterflies every time I see a bride for the first time, remembering my own walk down the aisle (and I keep my phone, camera and all other devices securely in my handbag And on silent, of course!)
With technology as advanced as it is, it’s easy to see how easy it is to develop relationships over the internet but what I don’t see is how you can develop a true love with someone you never see, never hear, or never touch. It just seems so generic to me. I’m glad I did it the old fashioned way. Hubby and I have been together for over 23 years.
I 100% agree, Dee! I don’t know that I could ever trust a relationship to be “real” with a screen always between us.
This was a beautiful post. Some people don’t realize how technology has really changed our lives.
I think especially the younger generation of people just entering the “real world” who have lived their whole lives with technology don’t know what they’re missing out on by not being forced to have live interactions.
I think that some people can’t even connect anymore without the use of a phone or computer! It’s sad!
It’s so true, Jenny. I think we have all, in a way, become secure behind the security of our screens and the interpersonal, face-to-face interactions are suffering.
Awe, I love it. I agree, it is awesome that you found love before it all. I remember those days of beeping my Hubby and feeling butterflies waiting for him to call back, ha!
Yes! The calling, waiting, listening to the ringtone and the disappointment when it went to voicemail then quickly trying to think of what to say without sounding needy, desperate or stalkery!
I feel the same way! I can’t even imagine the dating scene, let alone with social media.
Even the “dating scene” has gone behind screens, everyone I know is on dating websites now!
The times have certainly changed. I am glad i dated before Computers and cell phones were around. I remember being on the phone for hours with my sweetheart. It was a different kind of dating.
Absolutely and I remember the anticipation of having to WAIT until you both were available!
This is such a beautiful story, I wish I would of heard of this challenge I would of done it too. Oh how different our lives are with technology. I miss these times with letters and calls, technology is cool but it has it’s place.
So true, Aida! I miss the days of pen pals, handwritten notes and getting more than bills in the mail.
We met in 2004, and got married in 2007 – I got on Facebook in 2009. I 100% agree with you. ♥
Almost the same timeline, I got on Facebook in 2009 also to find one friend I’d lost track of! I’m so thankful for it now but also glad I didn’t have it to rely on back then!
Ah, I’m SO with you. This was a lovely post and we have a lot in common including how long ago we met our guys and when we got married. Huge props to us for planning that before Pinterest haha. I’m constantly so torn about this tech world that I know we kind of need but part of me wants to run away completely…including my internal battle of ‘to blog or not’. Thanks so much for linking up at #MeetUpMonday with thequinntessentialmommy.com and me (although I missed this week due to aforementioned internal battle) :)
Thanks for stopping by, Amanda! I too struggle constantly with the “to blog or not to blog” battle and especially the amount of time it requires me to be on social media.