The world was abuzz earlier this week as Prince William and Kate Middleton welcomed their second child, beautiful baby girl Charlotte (a name I adore thanks to my own awesome Great-Aunt Charlotte). But instead of celebrating and welcoming this precious girl into our world, people have taken to judging and speculating and it’s all just shown me one thing:
We still live in a society where labor and birth are viewed as traumatic, risky, horrifying experiences, true medical emergencies.
It first came to my attention shortly after Kate emerged for the first time with Princess Charlotte, ready to head home. My Facebook feed lit up with comments about how great she looks despite how miserable she must feel. The astonishment that she would be heading home already.
When I had Honeybun, I spent two full nights in the hospital and waited until they told me I could go home. I never even thought about going home sooner than a few days after. But after moving to Ireland, receiving a lot of my prenatal care there and learning about their medical system for birth, I realized something: we are doing it all wrong here!
When I returned back to Florida at 38 weeks to wait for Sugarplum (who arrived a week later), I was much more relaxed. She entered our world at 11:37 pm after 21 hours of labor and at 8 o’clock the next morning when my nurse came in I made an (apparently) outrageous request: I wanted to go home that day. The nurse was mortified that I would even ask less than 12 hours after giving birth but thanks to my amazing midwife, Sugarplum, hubby and I headed home to be with Honeybun just 19 hours after she entered our world. Because in most other places in the world (like Ireland and the UK) it’s NORMAL! Women an babies head home where they are comfortable and are checked in on in by their midwives in the comfort of their homes.
The Duchess has every right to look amazing after giving birth. She has every right to feel amazing. She worked really hard the past 9 months to get her baby girl and she should be over the moon about it! And I am here to tell you, you don’t have to be miserable after giving birth. You can be happy, healthy, comfortable even! I’ve done it, it’s possible (below is me minutes after Sugarplum’s birth, my sister “lovingly” calls this the “bitch picture” because she hates how good I apparently look.)
But I didn’t feel horrible, I felt ecstatic to have my baby girl here. And sure, her delivery was complication free and that plays a big part, but I’ve also never bought into the hype. I’ve never felt birth was dangerous, scary, traumatic. I think it’s a beautiful life event.
Then the articles started rolling across my feed. Kate delivered with midwives present (oh the horror!)
She delivered Charlotte 2 1/2 hours after arriving at the hospital.
She didn’t have an epidural!
Even speculation on whether or not she was induced.
To me, all these things sound like the Duchess just had a normal, healthy birth.
Midwives deliver over half of all babies in the UK (compared to approximately 8% of births in the US). In many parts of Europe, midwives and doctors work together and most low-risk births are attended by midwives and there is nothing unusual about it.
As for the timing, there are two possibilities: 1) She had precipitous labor and Charlotte was born after a very short labor, it happens. Regularly. There is nothing really unusual about it. Or 2) She labored at home (or Kensington Palace or whatever place she was hiding out before the birth) for hours before she went into hospital. I would assume if this was the case, she was probably checked on regularly by the queen’s physicians or her midwives who were on call. Most women (especially those opting for a natural delivery) want to spend as much of their labor in the comfort of their home as possible.
And as far as epidurals go, their use is much lower in the UK than here (just over 30% of all births verses over 60% of vaginal births here in the US). This is partially because UK mommies have more options for pain relief during labor including gas and air which in sparsely available in the US despite it’s proven efficacy in providing pain relief as well as its overall safety.
So why the big fuss? I don’t see anything crazy, unusual or astounding with her birth story. She has a beautiful baby girl and good for her for relishing in the moment with her new mom glow!
Beautiful baby! I live in Florida too and had my first dd during a hurricane so they suggested we leave. I asked to leave with my 2nd dd and there was so much paperwork and just like you they thought it was odd. I was ready to get out!!
With my girls, I didn’t mind the labor and delivery part of being at the hospital, but I HATED the recovery part which is one of the main reasons I went the homebirth route with my last and plan to for this one as well. I can’t stand all the poking and prodding and judging…
I don’t understand why everyone cares so much LOL. Everyone has their own story and there is no right or wrong way to have a baby.
I totally agree, Robin! That’s why I have been so amazed by the stories. I want to hear about how beautiful the baby is and how great Kate is doing, not how “outrageous” her birth was because it sounds like it was perfectly healthy and normal to me!
I really love this article! I can’t imagine being pregnant in the public eye like that. People seem to either love to love celebrities or love to hate them.
So true, Dawn! No one can ever seem to just say “congratulations” or “good job!” we must always pass judgement.
It must be so hard to go through something as taxing as a pregnancy in the public eye. Everyone watches every move they make!
You’re right, Jennifer! I am definitely the type of mommy that doesn’t like the attention or scrutiny so I could never make it as a celebrity mommy!
I could not imagine being a mom who is under such scrutiny. I had my last son in about 3 hours with no epidural, so I can relate to that aspect of the royal birth.
Agreed, Kelly. There’s really no reason to speculate on all the ins and outs (she easily could have been laboring at home for hours or even days before heading to the hospital) but what does it matter?
No kids for me, yet, but I’ve been thinking about my birth plan already. I’d love a home birth and I’d love as few ‘drugs’ as possible. To me, birth doesn’t seem scary, but beautiful, who knows, maybe that will change when I get in the moment!
I was the same, Jenna. I felt apprehensive about what to expect with my first but definitely believed in my body to do the right thing. I think it’s great you’re already thinking about how you want to birth, it will help you greatly when your time comes!
I wish I had been allowed to go home early after having a few of my babies. I was up walking just minutes after having my 1st, despite the labor being horrific. It is so sad that we have to be such horrible people to each other about such a personal experience. Much luck and happiness to any mother.
I was the same, Megan, up and moving around just fine minutes after giving birth. It’s unfortunate our system doesn’t believe more in the competency of our bodies to do what they are designed to do!
I have relatively short labor with my kids, (although not as short as hers) and I love my Midwives! The part that i”m jealous about is that she can be up and moving so soon after birth. Our hospitals don’t let me out of the room for 24 hrs after the baby is born. So that is where I was a bit jealous!
I’m glad she had a great birth!
I hate how restrictive our system is, Amber! There is no reason a healthy mother can’t be up moving around after birth (within reason, of course!) I would go stir-crazy if I had to stay in bed for days!
I think you looked wonderful too after giving birth! I on the other hand had many complications, and certainly did not look as flattering!
Thanks, Amy. I’ve never worried about how I look (just lucked out, I guess). I figure people are always just looking at the baby anyways!
I was amazed at the amount of people that had negative things to say about her pregnancy and birth. I don’t get why there are so many negative comments really. I think she looked amazing and happy so good for her!!!
I agree completely, Stefany. It just shows how much our culture focuses on the possible negatives of birth instead of the beauty in it.
I was so excited to hear about the birth of the princess. She is so beautiful and so does her Mom.
They are definitely a beautiful family!
So true. She has every right to be amazing :) I went home the day after birth with all three and felt fine. Granted, I never looked as good as she does, but I’m no princess, LOL
So true, Shauna! I’m sure she had a whole staff of hairdressers, stylists and makeup artists but who cares?!?! She’s a princess and is going to be criticized no matter what she does so she might as well look stunning while everyone judges.
I noticed a lot of posts about that birth too. She must have been perplexed by all the attention!
If she even had time to care, Liz, she probably was thinking “why is everyone so surprised by how I gave birth? I just did it the normal way…”
It can definitely be an overwhelming experience, thanks for the tips!
Our customs certainly are a lot different! That’s awesome you made it home soo quickly! You looked great too!
Our ways are definitely much different, Sarah, and unfortunately our outcomes are much worse too.
If I said I looked as great as either of you after giving birth I’d be lying! I think it’s a wonderful thing though, and I love the “new mommy glow”.
Thanks, Marina. I definitely didn’t have the help after that Kate did but I think it just had to do with keeping calm throughout and enjoying the moment (as much as one can!) rather than agonizing through every contraction. I think it also made a huge difference that I never really laid down during my labor, I was upright in a chair, in the tub or walking around the entire time.
I saw a lot of the comments about her duriing her pregnancy and when she was leaving the hospital. I didn’t pay much attentio. I always left the hosiptal early with mine. I wanted to be home and to relax with my baby. I hated how disruptive the hospital is
Me too, Debi! I just wanted to have the quiet alone time to be a family rather than being poked, prodded and bothered for days.
Birth stories can be so dramatically different that there really is no possible way to judge what is “normal”. Each person has their own “Normal” or they could have a different experience every time. I think she is so brave for not having an epidural though… ouch!!
You’re right, Jenny every story is indeed different but interestingly, in the UK and Ireland where we used to live, they don’t use the term “vaginal birth”, they refer to it as “normal”.
It is crazy the number of people that had something bad to say about her! Thanks for sharing!
I think it’s always easier to judge than congratulate, plus negative or alarmist headlines get all the attention!
I’m amazed at how good she looks! But never passed judgment on her decision to go home so early. Good for her!
She definitely had help, Amanda, but good for her for taking it!
I love drugs to much to not have them during childbirth. I have done both section and vaginal birth. I would pick a section over vaginal any day, for me it was the easier ones.
Lauren, you are definitely the rare mommy I know that would choose c-section over vaginal (regardless of medication or natural)!