The saying goes “When one door closes, another door opens,” but sometimes in life it’s actually the opposite. It’s been nearly 3 weeks since we first opened the door to our new home, but it wasn’t until yesterday that we finally closed the door on our old house, after almost 3 years. It doesn’t seem that long, but it’s the longest we’ve ever stayed in one home, or location even.
I knew I’d be emotional leaving. I knew I would probably cry as we moved our things out and I was reminded of our times there. But I did better than I expected, not actually crying until day 16 of constant packing, moving and unpacking, when I came across a tiny pair of shoes that we had bought for Sugarplum in Tunisia during our last cruise. Those little shoes that fit in the palm of one hand reminded me of all that we were when we moved into that home, the hopes and dreams we had for our family and how far we have come.
Hubby went with me on Sunday to clear out the last little bits and while I figured he’d be sad to leave, I didn’t necessarily expect the tears that we shared as we closed the door on that chapter of our lives. But what surprised me the most was when I took the girls back for one last walk through, to say good-bye. They both cried as we walked up to the door when we got there and they were both bawling as we pulled out of the driveway for the last time. I expected big emotions from Honeybun, she is my emotional one and has expressed her sadness over moving throughout the process. I did not expect it from Sugarplum. I don’t know that I’ve ever seen her cry out of sadness and heartache before. I’ve seen her cry out of frustration and anger and tiredness and pain, but she is our child that never cries when people die or when we leave people we love. It was a new side of her for me and it broke my heart.
This is the only home they remember. Honeybun will tell you about our “red door” in Dublin but I don’t believe she actually remembers it. And I know Sugarplum doesn’t, she was a mere 24 months when we moved into that home, younger than Doodle is now.
And the hard part is explaining to them that we moved not because we don’t like that house anymore. In fact, we all LOVED that house and it was everything we needed when we moved there. But reality is that now we need more. We need different things. We need more rooms for our growing family. We need a community where we feel like we fit in and belong. And we need space for them to run around and be kids. Our former home didn’t and couldn’t provide those things for our family, so we chose to move on.
But when we closed the door on that house for the last time, it certainly doesn’t mean we left behind our memories from there. It was a good house for us and like all the places we’ve lived, we will never forget our time there.
Like the family time we spent in the “TV” room where we did much more than share our family movie nights. It’s where we read books, built blocks, talked about life and enjoyed life’s celebrations.
And the dining room where our homeschooling journey began and the girls and I learned more about each other than I ever could have imagined.
Our bedroom where hubby and I often discussed our hopes, dreams, fears, worries and where we most often argued. But also where we always found the time and energy to reconnect and love each other, even during our most tiring and trying times.
The bathroom and tub where our family gained one more little person as his sisters excitedly looked on (I never thought I would miss a bathroom!)
And the kitchen where we did all of our creating. Cooking, crafting, making art and memories. A place where we learned to express ourselves and honed our “everyday” skills.
The playroom that kept the kids entertained for hours (and me crazy with the mess!)
Sweet little Doodle’s room that housed our family tree as we slowly lost many of the leaves.
And the girls’ bedroom where they laid awake at bedtime talking and laughing, becoming best friends.
The pool area where we spent so much time, splashing, laughing, learning to swim and just enjoying life.
And of course the driveway where Honeybun learned to ride a bike without training wheels and Sugarplum practiced writing her letters. Where we welcomed friends and said our final good-bye.
This house was so much more than a home, it was our lives for three years. It represents everything that we were and everything we became as it transformed with our family. And my only hope for the future is that our new home can provide just as many wonderful memories for our still growing family!
