After passing the third anniversary of our return to Florida, it’s hard to put into words what returning to Ireland last week meant to me. Despite the exhausting walking all over town, dealing with tired and oftentimes grumpy children and all the other hassles of travel, it was exactly what I needed in life. I needed to go back so I could move forward.
It wasn’t that going back brought me any kind of closure or that it reminded me of how hard it was there (quite the opposite in fact, I would have gladly stayed forever!) but there was something about going back.
Our last night, after we packed up for our morning flight and put the kids to bed, I gave the girls kisses, held both their hands and said “I’m so glad you did this with me. I’m glad we got to share this time and I hope that Ireland can stay a part of our lives forever. A few minutes later, I wrapped hubby up and whispered “thank you for this” through a wall of tears.
It wasn’t until that blurry-eyed moment that everything became clear to me. Between babies and homeschooling and being on and off work and in and out of the dance studio and moving and having friends move away, I had lost myself.
Dublin reminded me of who I was, who I want to be again.
Despite having only lived in Dublin for a tiny little fraction of my life. Despite being a full-on adult when we moved. Despite all of it, living abroad made me who I am.
Being emersed in a different culture opened my eyes to the wider world. It showed me all the people of the world and helped me to see I’m just another human. We are all alike yet different and beautiful.
Being back around my friends who come from such varying backgrounds but have had the same experience, who have seen and experienced parts of the world I only dream about seeing one day, recentered me. It showed me what I’ve been missing in my Florida life and maybe given me some direction for seeking out new experiences and relationships in our new home (not that I don’t cherish the lasting relationships I have built in Florida!)
And now was the perfect time for this visit, for this realization. Having just moved, uprooted our lives and about to add another member to the family, now is the perfect time to seek out what I need and what I want for my children as they grow.
Our first trip back to Dublin since moving three years ago was just what I needed to be able to walk confidently into our future.
