Is My Baby Sucking the Goodness Out of Me?

I remember a friend telling me once that when she was pregnant with her daughter, a woman in the store check out line told her that her unborn daughter had sucked the beauty out of her face.  Somehow, I think it was meant as a compliment, as if to say the baby would be beautiful.  But it certainly didn’t feel that way to an already hyper-emotional pregnant mommy.

I’ll be the first to admit, this pregnancy hasn’t brought out the best in me.  I’ve not been terribly kind, patient or frankly, fun to be around.  I’ve been downright mean, rude and even hateful at times.  But oftentimes, it feels out of my control.  I snap without thought then immediately feel awful about it.

It’s normal to wonder and dream about what our unborn children will be like.  And after our fiery Sugarplum and strong-willed Doodle, hubby and I are due an easy-going baby.  I was always told that thirds are calm because they have to just go with the flow.  And while Doodle started that way, over time he’s become harder and harder to manage.  So I’ve been holding out hope for an easy-going #4, someone to balance out the family.

And as s/he grows in my tummy I’m starting to get an idea of what we’re in for.  Honeybun was a typical mover, nothing too extreme or unexpected.  I refer to Sugarplum as my “alien baby” because she was such a wild swimmer that you could often see my entire stomach move and change shape as she adjusted position.  Doodle was not nearly as wild as Sugarplum but still very active, loving to stretch out his looooong legs and making many sudden movements.

But this baby has always been fairly calm.  So calm, in fact, that in the bustle of life I will actually forget there’s a life growing inside of me (though my ever bulging belly makes these occurrences less and less frequent).  S/he seems to only move around when feeling squished, or when poked at (hence the problem with our first ultrasound).

I’m left to wonder if s/he is going to pop out and immediately stretch big and go about life liking his/her space and hating being swaddled or confined.  But s/he doesn’t seem bothered by other things such as loud noises, sudden movements or other things that would have disturbed my other babies, leaving me to hope that I might actually get my calm baby after all.

And I’m also left to wonder if maybe, similar to my friend’s strange revelation, this baby is sucking the goodness out of me.  That maybe s/he is taking everything good that I have and using it to become a wonderful, calm, loving baby.  I can hope, right?  (and hopefully if that is the case, I will get my kindness back one s/he is here as my friend most surely got any lost beauty back!)

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