Yesterday was exhausting. By 8:30, I reported to hubby that it was going to be the longest.day.ever. By 9:30, my children had destroyed the baby’s room (where all of their toys currently reside). By 10:30, I was exhausted from sorting tiny little game pieces Doodle was strewing across the living room. By 11:30, we had to go. OUT!
So we went. Out for lunch.
My kids are no strangers to restaurants, they’ve all been eating out since they were born. And it’s not unusual for me to stop for lunch when out running around with the kids, even when I’m by myself. Usually we stop at a fast service restaurant (our favorites are Panera and Chipotle) but it’s not unheard of that I’ll take them to a sit down place.
And that’s exactly where we ended up yesterday, a local deli-restaurant that I really like. I walked up to the hostess stand with my big belly and three little ones. The girls stood patiently in front of me and Doodle clung to my leg. Both couples in front of us commented on how adorable the kids are and a woman leaving said “no wonder you’re having another, they’re beautiful!”
But the demeanor changed as we were walked to our table. People started staring, unimpressed faces, talking in hushed tones. As we approached our table next to the wait staff station, a waitress there actually said “are you kidding me?” as we walked up.
I know what it all means, I’ve experienced it before, in restaurants, on airplanes, in stores. People think: a mom with three small kids, on her own (though even when out with hubby we get the same reaction), there goes my quiet lunch!
But before you judge me and my decision to actually bring my children out in public, give me a minute. Let me set the kids down. Wait until you see how nicely they read their menus, choose their meals and even order for themselves. Watch as they color quietly while we wait for our food to be prepared, even the two-year-old. Listen as the only noise you hear is polite conversation and maybe a little laughing as we, too, enjoy a nice lunch.
Because my children are not the loud, obnoxious ones you might expect. Because my children have been taught how to act in restaurants. Because if my children couldn’t behave, they wouldn’t be there.
Trust that I, their mother, trust and expect them to behave. Know that if they don’t, it will be handled because much like you, I don’t particularly like screaming, rowdy, unruly children either. Especially when they’re mine!
So before you judge me and make assumptions about my family, give me the opportunity to prove your pre-conceived notions wrong. Let me show you that young children can behave. Let me change your mind about my kids and maybe any other families you may encounter in the future. Let me do my job as their mother.
And Let them show you how children can behave. Let them prove to you that young children can and do have a place in our world. Before you judge them, give them a minute to surprise you!
That is such a great post! All I’ve been hearing lately is how unruly children are when they are in public and even though the people complaining about the unruly kids are mostly complaining about the parents, it really angers me that they call 2yos monsters and demons. Both of my children behave in restaurants too. I don’t take them often, though I have taken them more as they’ve gotten older. Thank you for posting this. It is sad that ALL parents are now being immediately judged as they enter a restaurant rather than being given a chance to show what great kids they have. Kudos to you for raising such polite and happy children. I’m definitely sharing this post because people need to see more of this in their feed rather than all the negative articles that are constantly plaguing us these days. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks, Michelle! I find it so frustrating that we as a culture immediately assume children aren’t going to behave in public settings and while children do have bad days (mine included!), I do have to admit that I also generally blame the parents when a child is completely out of control unless they are clearly trying to fix the situation. Unfortunately, a lot of parents these days rely on technology to manage their children (note there was not a phone, tablet, or any other electronic device involved in our lunch yesterday!) or have the attitude “my children are ALLOWED to be here so it doesn’t matter how they act” instead of teaching their children what appropriate behavior is.
I totally agree with you. I worked in the restaurant business on and off for 10 years and I have definitely seen things from parents that I truly don’t understand and that’s why I can understand why so many people get angry about it. I don’t understand the parents who just sit there and let their children run around and act crazy. Don’t they see the waitress with the huge tray of drinks that she can and probably will drop and that won’t be safe for the waitress, other customers, or the children. I’ve seen this happen and the parents yell at the waitress and try to sue the restaurant for their kids getting hurt when the kids should have been sitting at their table. I’ve gotten frustrated with other parents too. At the end of the day, it is our responsibility to teach our children how to behave. It isn’t easy but it is doable as you have shown in your post. By the way, I give you huge Kudos for getting your two-year-old to behave so well while waiting for the food to come. I don’t know very many two-year-olds who can do that. That’s awesome!
Yes, Michelle! So true about the safety of everyone when kids are not being properly watched.
As far as my two-year-old, he’s come a long way! Just a few months ago, taking him out was a nightmare because he would scream from the time we sat down until he had food so we always brought snacks/food for him (especially due to his sensitivity issues) but then he would be done before the rest of us. Things finally turned for the better once he started enjoying coloring and I am soooo thankful that most restaurants provide coloring sheets and crayons now (though I keep my purse stocked with pens and plenty of old receipts just in case!) I think it also helps that his sisters are usually very good so he’s learned from example.
I find that most of the people that make those judgments are people who don’t have kids. What people don’t understand is that kids need to learn. They need to learn to share and learn to behave. People are so quick to jump to conclusions about things they know nothing about. Thanks for sharing. #ConfessionsLinkUp
I think, too, there is a mentality of older generations that children shouldn’t be certain places until they’re “old enough” to behave because their children never were. But I completely agree that children learn by doing so have to have those experiences to be able to know how to behave.