I wrote this about labor over two years ago during a full night of intense contractions with Doodle, contractions that ended up being nothing after I timed them, paced the floor for hours and finally laid down to rest around 4:00 am to wake up a few hours later with nothing. Doodle didn’t actually arrive until three weeks later but the feeling didn’t change.
Earlier in this pregnancy I proclaimed how I actually liked pregnancy (the first two times at least) and I’m going to stir the pot even more when I say: I’m actually looking forward to my impending labor.
I feel like I’ve waited an eternity for this little baby to be here. 27 weeks ago I was already complaining about it being the longest.pregnancy.ever and not much has changed. Even though August snuck up on me after a busy July, I’m now full-term and READY!
It’s not that I like being in labor (trust me, if there were a quicker, easier, safer way to get baby out I’d be all for it!) but I’m certainly not scared of it. And while I hope it’s quicker than my previous births, I’m not worried about it. I’m just ready for it and whatever journey my body ends up going on to bring this baby into the world.
And even though I remember thinking immediately after Doodle’s arrival “I don’t know if I actually want to do that again!” I’m looking forward to the moment when I know s/he is coming.
I’m ready to meet this little baby. I’m ready to step into the next chapter of our lives, knowing this is baby number last and this picture will be our forever family. Knowing that our new baby journey is coming to an end, but the rest of our lives are just beginning.
And I can’t wait! I can’t wait to hold him/her and stare into his/her eyes, to see the love (and fear) in hubby’s face and the delight in my girls’ face. I can’t wait to see how Doodle reacts to his new baby brother or sister. I can’t wait to surround this child with all the love we have, just as we have done with each other baby.
I know it’s not going to be easy (labor or life with 4) but it’s a challenge I’m ready for. It’s struggles that I am willing to undergo in order to have a beautiful future. It’s all I’ve ever dreamed of and can’t wait for this life to become my reality when the newest life enters it!
More on my views of labor and birth and my previous labor and birth journeys.
