The number one question we get asked as a homeschooling family is “Why?” Why did we choose to make the change from public school to homeschool? Why homeschool and not one of the other options available to us like a charter or private school? Why have we continued to homeschool our children even after moving to a new district? WHY homeschool?
I’m always able to come up with a quick answer that makes it seem easy, but truthfully, the answer is horribly complicated. Part of it is the flexibility in being able to travel when we want, see family when they’re here, spend as much time together as a family as we can. Part of it is the schedule, not having to wake up early, not having to fight after homework, not having to nap because of it all, not having to run back and forth twice a day, not having to pack lunches, not having to stress over school uniforms and whether we conform or stick to our beliefs. Part of it is a lack of trust in the system, lack of agreement with policies and norms, lack of confidence in the education our children would receive and the type of environment they would spend so much time in.
But what is NOT a part of it is the teachers.
At no point did we say “the teachers are just not okay.” Because, truthfully, we adored Honeybun’s (original) kindergarten teacher. And all of her friends parents loved who would have been her first grade teacher. And I have many, many, many friends who are elementary teachers whom I truly respect and value. Teachers who make a difference in the lives of their students every day.
But I also see these teachers struggle. I see them deal with too little resources, too much testing, too little time and too many rules. I see people who are passionate about teaching and reaching their students slowly fizzle out as their spirits are crushed by the pressure and restrictions placed on them. I see teachers who watch their students struggle and have their hands tied and can’t always make the difference they set out to.
We pulled out of the public schools because of the system, not the people (we even adored the principal during Honeybun’s kindergarten year who with genuine excitement wished us good luck on our homeschooling journey when we unenrolled). I truly believe the system is not only failing the students, but it’s failing the teachers too.
So when I go on and on (and on and on and on) about why we choose to homeschool, I just want my teacher friends and readers to know: this is not about you. I know the hard work you put in to your job and the amazing people you are. I know how much teaching means to you and how passionate you are about doing your best for your students as you expect the same from them. But I also know how much you struggle within the system, just as we did as a family. I know how much you wish you had more control and say over what really happens in your classroom.
And teachers, I want you to know I will always support you and value the work you do. Just because I chose a different path for my children, doesn’t mean you are valueless in my world. You are everything to this world because you are the ones who truly care and I can only hope that some day education will come back to you and teachers can once again focus on the just the students, whole-heartedly.
I get it, I do. ANd my oldest has sensory issues and school is sometimes hard for her. But what about not having the patience to do it? I tried homeschool preschool and I just am not good at it! I want to be, but I don’t have the right demeanor. Maybe 15 years in TV ruined me prior to being a mom!
Kristen, I definitely think it’s mind over matter. We don’t have rainbow sparkly days every day and it’s definitely taken me time to figure out how my children learn and to find a routine that suits all of us. You also have to let go of the need for homeschool to look like traditional school, there’s a reason people choose to leave traditional programs so why would you expect to replicate it at home? I understand it’s not for everyone but I truly believe anyone can make it work who truly wants it to! (It’s also way easier as they get older and can work more independently, those preschool years are just plain tough!)
You’re not alone with the patience thing. Because I have my kids majority of the time, when they are in school, that is my break and I need that time for my own sanity’s sake. I also don’t have the patience it takes or the knowledge to home school. Though, I know if I really wanted to I could do it. Both of my boys have special needs and I rely on the school to help me with their education and with helping them develop the skills they need to function in this world. I give full credit my oldest son’s middle school teachers for him getting honor roll all last year in the seventh grade. I wasn’t able to help him because I worked so much (this year will be different though). His teachers helped him achieve that goal and I am so grateful!
I am in total agreement with you! I send my kids to school for several reasons (one being I don’t have the patience it takes to home school). I love my kids’ teachers and I am fortunate enough to live in a district that is more flexible than most but even the best school districts have to abide by really strict rules imposed by the government and it gets in the way of the education. Not to mention almost every year, instead of investing more money into our children’s education, every year the school districts lose more money and more programs have to be cut as a result and more awesome teachers get laid off. It’s ridiculous and the standardized state testing that now starts in the third grade is the most absurd and asinine thing the government could impose on any school! Thank you for sharing this!
You’re right, Michelle. All the “red tape” makes education really difficult these days. I truly have hope that in the future it will get better, I’m just not confident it will be any time soon!
If I knew how to make that change myself, I don’t know, by maybe getting into politics or some such notion, I would maybe become some sort of lobbyist and fight to make it happen sooner. The whole world sees all of these problems. It’s our governments that choose to ignore it. So, in addition to school for my kids (they both have special needs so school is very important), I teach them things here at home. Like when they come home and tell me, for example: Martin Luther King, I will tell them what I know of the man and the time period of the civil rights movement and go from there. I also watch a lot of different educational channels with them and have open discussions with them. I believe I am doing my part as a parent to educate my kids further than what the schools currently have the ability to.
I think those conversations are the most important things in a child’s life, Michelle! My kids are still young (kindergarten and 2nd grade) but I’ve chosen not to do social studies/science curriculum with them as I figure they’ll learn what they need to from reading, asking questions and exploring their world.
Love this post!
I agree, there are so many other factors that pushed us towards homeschooling, and teachers were not one of them.
If teachers didn’t have to worry about getting kids to pass tests full of questions that are worded so even some adults can’t figure out what they are asking, and if teachers had the support of administrators to teach kids in the ways kids learn — not just sitting at desks doing worksheets all day in kindergarten…
Our decision had to do with so many factors, as I said before, but the tears and hour of homework each night for kindergarten that my daughter had, and the fact that the school didn’t have resources to meet the needs of my son, were definitely 2 big reasons.
Kindergarten homework was the WORST, Christina! Whenever my daughter asks about going back to “real” school I try to remind her that we’d still have to do homework and how NOT fun that was but she, unfortunately, doesn’t remember all the tears and frustration (from both of us!)