I Envy You, Traditional Schoolers (but only a little)

I see you out there, all over the internet, sending your kids off to their first days of the school year.  Your perfectly dressed children, holding cute little signs.

I see their perfect little bento lunch boxes and their adorable first days’ “getting to know you” projects.

I see your joy as you fill your days with whatever you want.  Enjoying the quiet with a cup of coffee, the ease of maintaining a tidy house (for at least a few hours), the chance to actually get stuff done!  I see your freedom, the chance to do what you want, when you want; the endless possibilities of a childless day.

And I envy you.  I long for those quiet moments, that house that stays tidy for longer than a hot second, the ability to start and finish something.  I can’t remember what that freedom feels like and can’t even fathom what the possibilities might be if I had it!

But then I see the end of day pictures of your exhausted and disheveled children.  I already see the complaining about car lines and ridiculous school policies.  And I know the homework is coming and the daily struggle that will become.

And I remember, I remember all of it.

I remember when our first day of school pictures looked like this:

Instead of this:

And homework caused this:

I remember the waking up early; the rushing to make a balanced lunch at the last minute; the walking to and from school with two little ones in tow; the exhaustion and lack of time to play.

And I remember why we chose to homeschool, the struggle was very real.

And while I envy your empty days and endless possibilities for “me time” as I look around at my cold cup of coffee, disheveled house and never ending to-do list of “I wishes,” I too see the endless possibilities.

I am glad that we came to the decision to homeschool from a place of experience with traditional schooling.  I’m thankful that homeschooling is possible for our family.  And I am overjoyed that it is working for our family.

So while I may not get the quiet time you do and my house is very well lived in.  And while I may never accomplish everything I wish I could or have enough “me time,” I revel in the possibilities of a child-filled home.  Because for us, “me time” is trumped by “we time” and we’re all better off for it as we spend our days laughing with one another, learning together and loving each other.