When we welcomed Pipsqueak ten days ago and I announced it to my family and friends, on the blog and across social media, I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love we received. And I got even more loving support when I shared his birth story a week later. But mixed in the the expected “congratulations” and a few “he’s adorable” comments were some that surprised me.
Things like:
“You put the rest of us to shame”
“Don’t know how you do it without drugs”
“You are braver than I ever was”
and
“That’s a big boy and no drugs?”
But here’s the thing: Yes, I delivered my son in my bathtub with no drugs. And yes, he was 9 1/2 pounds. And yes, somehow he was out in only two pushes. But the thing is, I didn’t KNOW he was going to be that big! And truthfully, despite his stats, I didn’t believe everyone when they said he was big until I had the time to look at the pictures (yes, he’s a big guy!)
But I wasn’t trying to trump anyone else’s birth or be a “better woman.” I never set out to do something “amazing” other than to birth my baby in the way that felt safest and most comfortable to me. I make choices for myself and my baby and many people won’t agree with them or may think I’m one of “those” mommies trying to be superwoman. But that is the farthest thing from the truth.
I’ve chosen homebirth for my last two babies for a variety of reasons but the most important being that I don’t like being poked at (by needles or doctors). It’s not because I think I’m stronger than anyone else or that people who utilize the available pain relievers are weaker than me. Frankly, I could care less how other women birth their babies so long as they feel empowered and safe before, during and after and likewise, I don’t care what other people think of my choices.
Whether you deliver at 6 pound baby by c-section or a 10 pound baby in your bathtub, every mommy is amazing. What we go through for our babies from 9 months of pregnancy struggles to whatever craziness brings our babies into the world makes each of us awesome, each of us strong, each of us superwoman because we created life, not because of how we brought that life into the world!
My oldest was 9lbs 12oz and 22 inches long. I was 24 and very healthy so I counted on giving natural birth to him. It didn’t turn out that way. As it turns out, my cervix is really small so he just wasn’t able to come out that way but I think you are right. No matter how our babies come into the world, the fact that we carried them in our bodies, bonded with them before they were born, then brought them into the world, is such an amazing experience and it makes all moms superwoman for doing this amazing thing. Your baby is beautiful. Congratulations!!
Thanks, Michelle! I think it’s important that the beauty of birth is that we gave life and not dwell on things that don’t go our way.
I agree!!