Homeschool: In My Defense

My journey being a Huffington Post Blog contributor has certainly been a wild ride.  My first few posts got little attention but the last few have gotten quite a bit of action (though still far from going “viral”).

My first post to get noticed about finding love before technology didn’t get the response I expected.  Some of the hateful, hurtful comments were hard to read and I felt like most people completely missed the point I was trying to make.  But it taught me a lesson I needed to learn: anytime you write something, you’re putting yourself out there for criticism and so long as you believe in the words you are writing, you can’t go wrong.

I’ll admit, though, that first experience definitely changed how I go about sharing my writing.  I am now more cautious with what I offer to Huffington Post and make sure it is something I can handle the feedback on.  My second post to get attention, on my breastfeeding truth which I shared during World Breastfeeding Week, I knew would get tons of different feedback since it is such a polarizing topic but it was MY truth so I felt confident standing by it and the comments didn’t crush me like the first post.

I now have a third post getting attention. My “Teachers, This is Not About You” post has gotten quite a bit of feedback since it was picked up on Monday.  But the early reaction was not as mixed as I expected, rather the comments were almost entirely based on all the stigmas, generalizations and misconceptions surrounding homeschooling (only recently have the pro-homeschooling commenters come out).

defending homeschool

According to the majority of the commenters, by homeschooling my children I am ruining them for life in a number of ways.  You can read all the comments here, but the themes that stick out are:

I’m not fit to teach my children at home.

“There are very few people who know enough math to effectively homeschool their children. I guess that I should qualify “effectively”, because anybody can teach their kids enough math for them to eventually work as a burger flipper.”

“You are limiting the child learning to what you know and ideas that are yours.”

“Most people are not qualified to home-school anyone past 3rd grade let alone high school. Unfortunately many kids are poorly educated via home-schooling even with well intentioned parents.”

“the prob i have with homeschooling is that the majority of the parents aren’t qualified to teach a snail.”

Despite my husband and I both having advanced degrees and mine being in education, I am clearly under qualified to teach my children anything.  (Though I wholeheartedly believe that any parent who wants to can successfully homeschool their children with the wealth of information and support available in today’s world).

I’m robbing my children of real-world experience.

“She is stealing her child’s life . These kids grow up a little off center.”

“Reason No. 1- So that your children are not exposed in any way to dirty people whose views might be different than yours.”

“The curriculum is a small fraction of what’s going on in a schoolroom. It’s all those other things that kids need to be successful in life – socialization, acceptance of diversity, learning to work with others, making friends of both sexes, et. al. – and those skills are not acquired in a home school setting.”

“My main concern with homeschooling is my strong belief that kids need to be out in the world with a wide range of experiences and with a broad bunch of people in order to be prepared for adulthood . . . out in the world.”

“What about social education, do you want your child to be afraid of others idea’s and cultures?”

“So, good luck with the quality time, the being able to travel when you want, the not having to argue about homework, and the not having to expose your children to other world views but don’t expect any applause from the teachers who are, eventually, going to have to deal with your kids.”

Obviously, putting my children in an environment where they are made to sit down, be quiet and only get to interact with children their own age and authoritarian adults 6 hours a day far outweighs the experiences they’ve had traveling the world (seeing, experiencing, being in other cultures); interacting daily with people of all ages and abilities in our community; and attending homeschool groups as well as extra curricular and enrichment classes with kids of varying ages.  Yep, I’m totally trying to keep my kids away from the “real world” by not putting them in public school…

I must be a religious nut.

“Two types of home schooling – FOOLISH religious based (where the damage IS often greater than schooling) and the free.”

“It has been my experience that most of the people that rob their children of a real education are doing it for religious reasons.”

“add to that all of that buybull thumping, anti real history and science.”

My children’s experience with religion is purely historical and they have only ever stepped foot in places of worship that have historical significance (Notre Dame, Westminster Abbey, the Blue Mosque) and for weddings and funerals. So…yeah, way to stereotype, people!  (and I’d like to note I read that last comment at least 10 times before I figured what the heck “buybull” meant.)

I’m selfish.

“And how are your children doing? Of course homeschooling is attractive to parents who do not want to make the logistical effort of sending their children to school, but when do you start letting things slide?”

“I wonder if her kids were ever asked ‘Do you mind missing out on the interaction / experiences you would receive if you were taught in a school with exposure to, like, the world?'”

“There is not a word in the article about it being the best for her children or that it was what her children wanted. The whole article is WE the parents and most of the reasons given are convenience to her.”

Trust me when I say there is nothing selfish about homeschooling!  Is it more convenient for our family, yes, for ALL of us.  Of course it’s BETTER for our kids or we wouldn’t be doing it.  I’d love those six free hours a day to do whatever mommy things I want but right now we have found homeschooling to benefit our entire family which is why we continue.

I will fail and the public schools will have to “fix” my kids.

I have seen a lot of cases where homeschoolers finally realized that they were in over their heads, dumped their kids on a public school system, and then realized that – in some subject or another – their kids were going to have to take remedial classes. This puts a tremendous burden on the school.”

“I’ve met many home schooled kids and never met one who was a well rounded as one who attended a public school. Many were very immature and unable to participate in class or group setting in the secondary education setting.”

“How well will you learn algebra if your mom is also attempting to teach your sibling the multiplication tables, while nursing the new baby, and getting breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the table for 6 people?”

“I just retired from a quarter century of teaching high school. Over that time I had many students who had been home schooled up to age 16 or so – when the students wanted to go to school with others. Out of about 40-45 previously home schooled kids, only ONE ever succeeded in an actual school. All the others left – they either returned to home schooling or dropped out of school altogether – they did not have the social skills to deal with their peers – they were fine in relating to adults, but unable to negotiate relationships with young people.”

“So, check it out; all the families I’ve known to home school their kids..the mom (always the teacher) ran out of teaching gas when the oldest was in about fifth grade. I predict this young lady will too. Soon. Don’t try to be supermom. The public schools are fine. Or private schools. Whatever. Do not try it at home.”

Clearly all of this “personal experience” is grounded in research and reality.  Yes, there is a strong chance my children will end up back in a traditional school setting some day.  But am I worried about them being a burden because our homeschooling environment has been insufficient?  Heck no, I’m genuinely worried about the opposite, in fact.  Where will a public school place my children who are a year or more ahead of their peer group when they were already the youngest in their group anyways?  My girls could realistically end up in a classroom with children 2 full years older than them (or more if they keep working at the pace they have thus far!)

My children will never go to college or be functioning adults

“Schools provide a framework and good academic skills PLUS the opportunity to find a career trajectory. My son found his passion for engineering while on the school robotics team. My daughter figured out what she DOESN’T want to do by sampling a variety of classes and extracuriculars. Those types of lessons are not happening to kids sitting at the kitchen table all day.”

“These kids grow up a little off center . As an employer I have had experiences where my other employees asked me to fire them. Their mannerisms , body language and speech pattern are extremely dosconcerting.”

How does one deal with an unreasonable teacher/employer or drama with other kids if one is always at home with a parent and doesn’t have todo that?”

“I have two siblings who home schooled some of their children, what a fiasco…Now they have adult children who are nearly non functioning.”

All of this is soooo wrong and so against all research on homeschooling.  As I mentioned before, my kids are a full grade level ahead (after only one year of homeschooling) and are already delving into their own interests which they wouldn’t have time for if in school all day.  Honeybun loves to read (especially the American Girl books which are historically based) and is fascinated by dinosaurs.  And both girls are getting to take many extracurriculars a week including dance, gymnastics, a geography class and golf lessons, there is NO way we could do all of these things if they were at school six hours a day and then had to do homework.

So what does the research say?

Homeschooled children score, on average, in the 88th percentile on standardized tests, public schooled children score, on average, in the 50th percentile.

The number of homeschoolers nationally has doubled in the past 15 years and its popularity is growing among Silicon Valley techies and Black Families, among others.  Many states, including my own Florida, have seen large increases in homeschooling families and North Carolina now has more students enrolled in homeschool than private schools (Canada has seen an increase as well).

Prestigious Universities like MIT, Harvard and Duke have started actively recruiting homeschooled students.

And if you like numbers, check out this awesome graphic.

21 Comments

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