Usually when we are having a hard morning at home, I try to get out of the house. Sometimes we get lunch or head to the library or the park but I always try to head someplace where there will be other families. I definitely don’t judge other parents when out, but I do observe and truthfully, I compare my situation to that of other families and it always always makes me feel better about my situation to be around other parents and small children.
It is easy to get caught up in your own struggles and situation so seeing other parents can bring some clarity back to life. Generally when out around other families, I notice three types of parents and all of them make me feel better about my situation:
Those that are being more successful than me.
It’s easy to see a parent with “easy” kids and become disheartened or jealous but I find them inspirational. And instead of getting negative about my situation or get a “well, aren’t their kids perfect?!?!” attitude, I instead try to watch these parents and learn from them. What are they doing that works? What can I mimic in my life and situation with my kids to make things easier for me? How do they make it look so easy?
Those that are struggling more than me.
Nothing brings life into clearer perspective than seeing a fellow parent really struggle and every time I see it, it breaks my heart and I feel so deeply for them. It reminds me of the times my toddler threw a massive temper tantrum in the middle of Target or when my infant would scream hysterically through almost and entire meal in restaurants. And it makes me thankful that my struggles that day are a few arguments over who is going to sit in which seat and whether or not I’m going to buy them Frozen shoes.
Those that are just like me.
This is perhaps the group that helps me through my days more than anything. To know that I’m not alone in this parenting journey and to know that others are dealing with the exact same struggles makes me feel 1000x better. I love seeing moms out with lots of young ones just like me and seeing them deal with the same little problems because it makes me feel like it’s not only worth it, but it’s doable, that we will survive this life!
So next time you’re out with your kids and you catch me (or another mommy) staring, don’t assume we’re judging. Know that we are thinking about how alike we are, that we are learning from your and what seems like your infinite amount of patience or we are commiserating with your current struggle, even if we don’t say so. We have so much to learn from each other and while I’m not the most outgoing person and will not generally walk up and talk to a stranger (though I would be delighted if you did, I’m really friendly, just not very brave!) just know that I get a lot from our unspoken interactions and that just being around you helps me and my parenting immensely!
