The flu overtook our house last week, no soul was spared. After days upon days of meeting my children’s constant needs, after nights of temperature checks, fighting taking medicine, frequent nursing sessions and ER visits, we’ve finally recovered. The baby had his last dose of Tamiflu and aside from a lingering cough, you wouldn’t know any of us were even sick.
Yet here I stand on the other side, feeling beat down and broken.
But it’s not just the flu that did me in, it’s life. It’s two full weeks without hubby and our two weekends with him spent being sick and miserable. It’s a sudden change in the schedule that we’ve been bumbling along with for months now. It’s looking at all the things I need to accomplish and knowing I will never have the time, energy and patience to achieve it all successfully.
And I let it get to me. I stomped around, grumped at my kids and yelled at my husband. I felt helpless when all I really need is help and encouragement. And then I gave in.
I have a crazy life. I have four kids, including a newborn. I am wholly responsible for homeschooling two of them. My husband works long hours with an hour each way commute. We still don’t have a lot of good friends nearby our new home.
But we chose this life, I am certainly not a victim of circumstances. And I can wallow away in the stress of it all or I can find the joy in it. I get to choose how I experience my life.
So after a week of feeling in over my head, of letting the exhaustion get the best of me, I chose a different path. Not to “be the better person” but to be my best me.
Instead of fighting Doodle at bedtime, I just do what needs to be done. Instead of getting swallowed up by the routine and fighting with my kids about it, we just get it done. If he won’t let me brush his teeth nicely (“meeee do it!”) then I’ll hold him down and just do it (it only took one time).
Instead of yelling at Honeybun to just do her schoolwork and fix her attitude, I’ll sit down beside her and answer her questions as she goes rather than waiting for her to come to me for help.
Instead of begging Sugarplum to clean up after herself, I’ll start and expect her to join me, giving specific direction rather than generalized pleading.
Instead of getting frustrated when Pipsqueak refuses to go to sleep even though I’m exhausted, I’ll embrace the moments where he just wants to lounge in my arms and stare deep into my eyes for he’ll only be tiny a short while longer.
I’m by no means perfect, never will be and honestly don’t aspire to be, but I do know that I can be better. I can make all of our lives easier and less stressful by making small little changes.
By focusing on simply getting things done rather than wallowing away in the heaps of responsibility, we’re all coming to a happier, more relaxed place. (Though I’m still exhausted and don’t feel like I’ve been given the opportunity to overcome the damage the flu did to my body yet!)
Sounds like you’ve got a full plate! I homeschool too and it would be so hard to do everything if my husband worked a schedule like that. I think you’ve got the right attitude; keep it up :)
Thanks for the encouragement, Gina! My husband’s schedule is hard sometimes but we’ve never really know anything else so just adjust as needed.
Moms just never catch a break, sick or not. So hard to recover when you’re the mama. I hope you start to feel revitalized soon.
Also, I agree focusing on the smaller tasks and accomplishing them is the way to go sometimes. Glad you are all flu-free!
Thanks, Lauren! It’s just one baby step at a time until my energy is revived and who knows, maybe I’ll realize this pace and way of being is better in the long run too!
Wow you ARE a super mom. I completely understand when it just gets so over whelming and we give in, if you ask me we all should have a moment of that. We deserve it. Slow down and do things at your own pace, the work will not go away it will sill be there when you are ready to get it done. I agree with you, enjoy the babies :-)
Many blessings to you and the fam.
Maya from http://www.healthymominabusyworld.com
Thanks, Maya! You are certainly right that the work will not go away, it will always be there (hence my tendency to avoid housework as much as possible!)