The ridiculous questions I used to get asked when I was pregnant with baby #4 have pretty much subsided. Maybe it’s the disheveled mommy of 4 who’s ready to snap vibe I give off but the comments I receive now about having 4 kids are generally less intrusive.
Things like “wow, that’s a lot of kids!”
And “I bet you’re a busy lady.”
Plus my all-time favorites “A few more and you could have your own TV show,” and the woman who passed me in the grocery store and without even stopping simply said “I had 4 as well, God bless you!”
But the one I get the most is not usually from strangers but well-meaning friends: “I don’t know how you do it!” preceded or followed by a description of how crazy their 1/2/3 children make them.
Truthfully, mommyhood is crazy no matter how many kids are involved and my answer is always simple: “it’s not so bad, it’s not like I have quadruplets!”
And it’s the truth, while having 4 kids is not a walk in the park, the fact that my kids have a 7 year age gap between tall and small makes a huge difference (though on a side note, I’m pretty sure in the future tall and small/youngest will be the same kid!)
My girls are pretty self-sufficient at this point. They need to be fed and need a lot of reminders but generally can manage their own needs. And even my three-year-old can do a lot of things on his own now.
But they are also great helpers. My girls help get Doodle dressed and even put him to bed/nap if I’m tending to the baby. They keep an eye on the baby for me while I do things like use the bathroom or run upstairs to put in laundry. And even Doodle helps out by bringing me things like diapers or wipes when I need them.
And having more kids means I have to do less entertaining. My older three generally get along pretty well and I can trust them to entertain each other while I do other things most of the time. Plus, there’s always a choice in playmates. Sister doesn’t want to play with you? Ask your brother. I can almost always pass the playmate or “mommy help me!” buck to one of my other kids.
Plus with having 4 kids, they easily pair off and no one is left out (generally). And in my case of having two older girls and two younger boys, my girls can go to the bathroom together when they’re with hubby or if I don’t want to haul everyone in there (usually only when we’re in a familiar place and I can see the restroom from where I’m at). And when my boys get too old to want to be in the ladies room, they will be able to go together as well. My girls are close enough in age that they have the same likes and interests and I’m sure my boys will, too.
I certainly won’t say life is easy having 4 kids, it’s nuttier than a peanut factory, but there are some perks and I hold out hope that as they grow, things will get easier and the perks will heavily outweigh the struggles. That’s why I wanted 4 kids in the first place: family togetherness and love and all that jazz.
