We had a rough spring with the girls that culminated in my 6 year old stuffing gum down her pants at the grocery store, friends telling my girls that they’re going to hell for lying and some very, very long talks. All of which led to a very disturbing revelation: my eight year old didn’t think that lying, cheating, stealing and making other bad choices was wrong unless she got caught. I was stunned.
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How did this happen? Where did I go wrong as a parent? How did I so badly fail at this whole thing that the most important thing to me, my children growing up to be good people, was the one thing my kid wasn’t understanding?
She had been sneaking candy regularly. Cheating on her schoolwork whenever she could. Getting her little brother and sister to make bad choices as well (she incited the gum incident above). And she thought it was all okay so long as I didn’t find out. She even gloated to her friends how she thought it was fun to lie to us (hence the going to hell incident).
Well, all of this resulted in some deep conversations about hell and choices and how wrong is always wrong (“is it okay for mommy to run someone over with my car so long as I don’t get caught?!?!?”) and some big consequences like no dance classes for the summer. Then I started looking for help. And I found it in the Adding Assets series of books.
Designed for middle-aged kids 8-12 years old, the Adding Assets series by Free Spirit Publishing outlines 40 positive developmental assets in a series of 8 books. Each Adding Assets book covers one general topic and 4-6 developmental assets each of which are addressed individually with an example story and ideas for ways to add each asset into ones daily routine and life at home, school and in the community and how each asset is beneficial. Each Adding Assets book also provides a list of additional resources for both kids and adults to help expand on the assets covered.
A few of the Adding Assets titles immediately jumped out at me as exactly what my daughter needed.
Doing and Being Your Best (AL)
This books covers the topics of boundaries and expectations at home, school and in your neighborhood as well as adult role models, peer influence and setting high expectations. I love this book for the fact that is discusses the importance of rules, why they exist and how to talk about rules kids don’t understand or may not agree with. It also gives tips on dealing with peer pressure and how to be a good role model for others.
Knowing and Doing What’s Right
(AL)
(AL)
This Adding Assets book covers positive values such as caring, honesty, responsibility and healthy lifestyle. Of all the developmental assets covered in the Adding Assets series, these are some of the most important to me, personally. I love how this book also covers deeper topics like empathy, values, trust, procrastination and temptation.
Proud To Be You
(AL)
(AL)
This is another important one for my girl as she has struggled in the past with her self-esteem (especially during her kindergarten year which is part of the reason we switched to homeschooling) getting in trouble makes her think she hates herself. This Adding Assets book goes beyond just self-esteem and liking oneself, though, and also delves into the topics of personal power (feeling like you have some control of things in your life), sense of purpose and feeling hopeful about one’s future. These are all things we try to instill in our children but aren’t always easy to convey, especially in the frustration of an emotional moment.
There is also a A Leader’s Guide to The Adding Assets Series for Kids
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I think my son would love to read the Doing and Being Your Best
Thank You for the chance
These look really great. It’s so easy to overlook these simple things and forget we need to teach them as well as math, and English. Thanks for sharing!
I think Doing and Being Your Best would be great for my nieces because it would teach them to always try their hardest.
I think helping and staying safe, we like to volunteer a lot.
My children would benefit from Smart Way to Use Your Time.
Knowing and doing what is right. we all could benefit from these.
I think that the Helping others and Staying safe is one that my grandchildren need because you need to teach your children from a young age how to help others, and also they need to know what to do to stay safe, because we are not always there to help them be safe.
I think Knowing and Doing What’s Right would be a good fit for us. I’m trying to help my daughter make better choices.
I like Doing and Being Your Best because my daughters are only 6 years old.
Loving to learn. Our 4 year old would like this as she loves learning