My Sweet Little Pipsqueak,
Today you turn one, my big boy! And while I know you are not much different today than you were yesterday, you’ll one day understand how life is about firsts and milestones. Those milestones mean today you are no longer a baby.
You’ve been slowly claiming your big boy status for months. First with your little toddle then with your robust “mum, mum, mum!” which any mommy would be ecstatic to hear except I know you’re really saying “More, more, more! Feed me, mommy!”
You’ve grown faster than I would have liked, both physically and developmentally. The days have flown by us and despite me holding onto you babyhood with everything I have, trying to relish in every tiny moment, today marks the day that I can no longer call you a baby.
You are now a full-blown toddler. You have the walk, you have the talk, and now you have the age. And it’s hard for me to let to go. I feel completely overwhelmed by this moment, a feeling I didn’t have with your brother or sisters on their big days because deep inside me, I always knew there’d be more. I always knew there’s be you.
But it’s hard for me to say good-bye to your babyhood today because you are my last baby and every one of your firsts will be my last.
The first time I saw you, touched you, held you, instantly loved you will be my last love at first sight. The first time you looked at me and smiled will be my last heart so full of new love it might explode. The first time you wobbled to me and collapsed with a squeal in my arms will be my last good catch of first steps.
And as we go forward in this new phase of life together, there is something I need to ask you:
Will you please always be my baby?
I’m not asking you to stop growing (though it would be nice if you would just slow down!) or to stop learning new things. Rather, I’m asking you to always let me be your mommy.
I hope that you will continue to run to me for comfort whenever you are hurting because even though you will someday outgrow my lap (and I could realistically one day fit comfortably on yours!) know that you will never outgrow my arms. My arms will always be open to wrap you up and give you all the cuddles and love I have.
I hope that you will continue to share your words, worries and joys with me because while I know your screaming to tell me things will over time become elaborate stories, know that I will always be here to listen and say “I know, baby.” My ears will never tire of hearing everything you have to share.
I hope that you will continue to cry, laugh and be silly and that you never outgrow or become “too cool” for these things because your smile is what makes my world go-round and no matter what anyone says, you are never too old nor too manly to cry (or to have your mommy wipe away your tears.) My heart will always feel all that you do.
I hope that you will continue to get right back up every time you stumble whether it’s from going too fast, hitting a wall or at the fault of someone else. I want you to always have the confidence to keep going and know that I will always be watching over you, here to tell you “you’re okay!” and lift you up when you need a little help. My watchful gaze and belief in all you can achieve will never go away.
I hope that the smile that spreads as wide as your face whenever you see me, the little giggle that fills your chest when I come to get you, the excited little clap you now do when I’ve been gone never goes away. I want you to always be happy to see me, to know that you are loved more than anything and that no matter how far our distance, I will always, always be there for you. My heart will always be yours.
Because you are and will always be my baby.
