Keeping Her Memory Alive through the Holidays

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #MyCareGivingStory #CollectiveBias

The holidays have become a bittersweet time for me. I’ve always loved the holidays. It’s when we get to slow down. It’s when we get to enjoy family time. It’s when I get to see and spend time with family that I don’t get to spend a lot of time with throughout the rest of the year. But as the years have gone by, the number of family members around to spend the holidays with has gone down.

Thanksgiving growing up was always a huge holiday. My mommy, aunt and Gran’ma would take turns hosting and we would all pitch in in the kitchen to get dinner on the table. It wasn’t just dinner that was a family event, cooking together was, too. It’s a tradition I’ve tried to carry on with my own kids and the last two years, I’ve taken those skills I acquired throughout my childhood and have cooked Thanksgiving dinner for the small amount of family that is local here (only my aunt and uncle).

But my first Thanksgiving as a wife and mommy (sort of, I was pregnant with my first) was also my Nana’s last and aside from our years in Oklahoma, my smallest: just her, hubby and me.

I was recovering from pneumonia but it didn’t stop me from making her the best Thanksgiving dinner I could. I bought everything, cooked everything and we had leftovers for weeks. The three of us ate together, enjoying each other’s company, and after dinner hubby and I ran off to Orlando for a wedding that weekend.

That Thanksgiving dinner is one of my last great memories of her because just days after that her health went down-hill and she spent her last few months in and out of the hospital and rehab. And I spent those months caring for her.

I schlepped her to doctor’s appointments and took her shopping when she was home and took her out of the rehab for dinner when she wasn’t. I helped with her laundry, managed her medicines and cooked for her whenever I could.

She wasn’t a great cook, in fact my dad and uncles joke about how awful it actually was, but she did have a few things she was known for. And one of them was her Five Cup Fruit Salad.

I don’t remember if it was always on the dinner table at holidays when I was growing up but I know it has been since she’s been gone. It’s become something that my kids and I make together.

Nana’s Five Cup Fruit Salad

Combine:

• 1 cup pineapple tidbits (drained)
• 1 cup mandarin oranges (drained)
• 1 cup coconut
• 1 cup mini marshmallows
• 1 cup sour cream (or plain coconut yogurt for a non-dairy version)
• maraschino cherries (optional)

It’s sweet and zingy and every bite of her five cup fruit salad reminds me of her. The kids love that it has marshmallows and that I don’t call it desert (because it’s fruit, and the holidays!)

She spent her last Christmas in the rehab facility but we were able to bring her home for Christmas Day. My family opened presents, had breakfast, cooked together, ate an early dinner and enjoyed each other’s company just as we had every year of my childhood. Everyone together for the first time in a long time. And for the last time.

My Nana passed away when I was about 30 weeks into my pregnancy, she never knew any of my kids. But she was one of the most special, wonderful people in my life and it’s always been important to me to keep her spirit and memory alive for them.

I talk about her often and share my memories of my Nana with my kids. They see pictures of her around our home and my family’s homes. She is very much still a part of our lives even though she is gone.

Those last few months were hard for my entire family, watching her health deteriorate and taking on so much responsibility for her care wore us down. But we never gave up on spending every moment we could with her despite the struggles.

And we learned along the way different things that made enjoying our time with her easier. Big things like working together and sharing the responsibility and keeping it simple and expectations low when we brought her home. And lots of little things like not moving her around the house too much and relying on Depend® underwear to make toileting less stressful for her and us.

They allowed her to maintain some independence without having to rush to the bathroom for fear of a mess and at the risk of falling. And they gave us as caregivers one less thing to worry about with a little bit of extra peace of mind, allowing us to simply focus on being with her for what we knew would be her last holidays.

And right now at Sam’s Club, members can see right on the package just how much they’re saving on their loved one’s Depend® Fit-Flex® underwear (available for men and women and now more flexible featuring all-around elastic, slimmer fit designed for protection and comfort) and Poise® liners and pads (designed for light bladder leakage and featuring the absorb-loc® core which quickly wicks away moisture and controls odor) products. And through the Digimarc Discovery app can get immediate access to the Sam’s Club Caregiving website which helps you with caring for your loved ones with easy prescription refills and free health screenings.

Watching our loved ones age and start experiencing health problems is never easy but being able to enjoy them until the end is worth every inconvenience and struggle. And even though all our grandparents are gone, we continue to remember them, especially during the holidays, and cherish the members of their generation that are still with us. My family has stayed close with my grandmother’s friends and I’m happy to be able to send them a little help this holiday season by sharing my Depend purchase.

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