My big sister got married this weekend. And while I was the worst maid of honor in the history of weddings (which is made even worse because she was such an awesome maid of honor for me!) and didn’t do much to help her with wedding preparations, I did write a speech which, I think, is pretty good for a mom of four who forgot to bring snacks to the church for her three children who require more than a boob (yes, dear sister, that was me who rummaged through your stuff and stole a chocolate protein bar for my 5 year old but it was only to keep her from having one of her epic meltdowns and ruining your day when she was refusing to take pictures after the ceremony.)
As it turns out, I didn’t get to share my speech at the wedding because the bride and groom decided to keep the toasting to a minimum with only my dad speaking (the grooms father was the officiant of the ceremony) but I’m never one to waste good words, so here it is: the speech I was ready to give on the occasion of my big sister’s wedding.
About 9 months ago, I got a call from my sister with the news we had all been expecting: her boyfriend had proposed! I was over the moon for them, knowing they would find forever happiness together.
But then she asked me to be her Maid of Honor and while I was indeed honored, I’ve been are pretty terrible Maid of Honor. I was too pregnant to help her pick out her wedding dress (though I did get to Skype in for it). I live too far away to have been able to throw her a proper wedding shower. And I arrived to late to help her with any of the preparations. So I’ve spent all these months feeling like the biggest failure of a maid of honor.
And as I was venting to my husband one night a few weeks ago, he asked “don’t you get to give a speech, though?” And I panicked!
See, my sister and I are dancers. We’re performers but not talkers. I’ve never been one for public speaking and there’s a reason why she spent her time in TV behind the camera. But then I remembered that I write for a living and while speaking may not be my thing, words are.
So, here it goes:
Sister, I have always admired you and looked up to you (and not only because you’re so much taller than me!) but because you have a beautiful and loving heart and while life may have mixed up our timelines, you being my big sister has deeply affected my life. You taught me how to love purposefully, deeply and unconditionally all the times you snuck out on our Barbie games and left me broken-hearted. And I know that you have found the same love and admiration for your (now) husband.
I remember telling you once that when you met the one you would just know and when I met him for the very first time, even I knew. You two have been a perfect fit from the start and I can see how he has already made you whole.
I can tell your love is stronger than your shared affection for beer and deeper than the kegs in which it flows.
Just kidding, but beer is part of what brought you together so I figured it should be acknowledged somewhere!
So here’s a bit of advice for you from someone who’s been there, drank that, bought the koozie and comes back for more every happy hour: Marriage is like a good pour, if you’re not paying attention, you’ll end up with a glass full of foam. But if that happens, don’t give up because we all make mistakes. Instead, remember that with a little patience and time, things will eventually settle back down. And learn to watch for the things that could cause your beer to bubble over like slamming it on the table in frustration or not being careful when opening a warm one (which sounds like a mortal sin, but trust me…some day a warm beer will be better than no beer!) And when all the foam settles, learn from your mistakes and try to be better next time. But most importantly, drink it up and let the love flow freely.
I wish you both all the happiness in the world and we only dream to do as much for you over the coming years as you have done for us. And in proper Irish drinking form: to the newlyweds: Slainte!
