I am the mom that woke up this morning so exhausted she could hardly make it down the stairs with the baby.
I am the mom that said to herself “I know you’re tired and it’s been a long, hard week but let’s be patient today.”
I am the mom who 10 minutes later was laughing and ironic laugh when her daughter said “but my friends who go to regular school don’t have to do school all day.”
I am the mom who spent 5 minutes lecturing her kids on all the reasons why they were homeschooled and how everything she did was for them.
I am the mom who moved her crawling infant away from the coupons sprawled all over the floor about a hundred times because I am the mom who saves money everywhere she can and didn’t have room to spread the coupons on the table where her kids were doing school.
I am the mom who lost it when her daughter screamed in her face about hating school.
I am the mom who broke her phone when she threw it on the table and screamed “I’m done!” before taking the baby upstairs for a nap.
I’m the mom that tries to lead by example but doesn’t always have that much self-control.
Because I’m the mom that screams and yells to get my kids’ attention. And I guess I’m the mom that throws things when she’s had enough.
Because I’m the mom that gives my family everything I have and who gets nothing back.
Because I’m the mom that tries to be everything and fails. Every.single.time.
And now I’m the mom sitting here, typing with tears running down my face, willing my baby to go to sleep so I can have one less thing to worry about for a few hours (if I’m lucky).
I’m the mom that needs help but doesn’t know who or how to ask.
I’m the mom that needs more but doesn’t know what of.
I’m the mom you read about, that is broken down by modern motherhood.
I’m just one mom yet somehow I’m also every mom.
Thank you for reading and I hope you will also take a moment to read my followup to this post: It’s Not How We Break, It’s How We Recover
