Last night I got back from teaching, nursed Doodle, gave the girls good-night kisses and had my dinner. As hubby put Doodle to bed, I sat down to write a blog post and nothing came to me. I checked into Facebook and Twitter and read my emails then headed into bed. As I lay there trying to fall asleep I pondered why I couldn’t come up with anything to write about and I realized most of posts are pre-written in my head while I lay in bed at night, while I feed Doodle early in the morning or when I’m in the shower (the exact place where Beyond Mommying was born, see “What it’s All About”). I realized it’s the quiet.
I live in a noisy, noisy world of talking, crying, fussing, arguing, whining, and screaming not to mention the instruments, pots and pans, tap shoes and “learning toys” which provide all-day entertainment for my kids. When I finally get to a place where it’s quiet and I’m alone with my thoughts, my mind goes crazy!
I’ve always loved background noise. Growing up I would study with the TV or radio on. Even now when the girls are sleeping and I’m working on the computer, I always have the TV on. I don’t pay much attention but the noise is there (which also helps the kids sleep, I think).
The difference, though, between the background noise I create with music or TV and the noise which fills my home during most of the day is the attention required. I can tune out the background noise, I can ignore what’s happening on the radio or TV, but I’m constantly aware (at least subconsciously) of the noises my children are making. I’m constantly “on” and when I accidentally slip “off” and don’t pay close attention is when I catch my 3-year-old in my bathroom slathered in expensive lotion because I (apparently) told her she could get some lotion for her tummy.
It’s a hard thing to understand when you aren’t used to constant noise and being unable to “zone out” but those quiet and alone moments are magical. Being able to focus on your own thoughts and let your mind wander to and fro, wherever it wants to go without interruption is a pretty great thing and something I’ve come to appreciate even more since embarking on my noisy (but wonderful) mommying adventure!
I know exactly what you mean – I live in a world filled with noisy. As a matter a fact I lived in New York and the L train was right outside my window! I never noticed it but when people would come to my apartment they always said “How can you sleep with all that noice”. I grew up in a household filled with music. My dad was a DJ – he was always messing around in the turntables. It was normal to me. Now that I’m in my late 20’s – I long for quiet evenings. Makes me feel like my job is complete.
Isn’t it funny how becoming a mommy can change you from someone who relishes in the noise, chaos and excitement of the world to someone who just looks forward to the calm silence?
I’m right there with you. I’ve started getting up super early just so I can savor a few moments of quiet before the rest of my household wakes up.
I wish I had it in me to get up early and be useful! Instead I count down the minutes until nap time (5 hours, 52 minutes…)
Incredible, how we can function with noise yet we need the peace to do what we do best. It is true, I can study with noise but taking a test I need it to be quiet as that is the time I hear every little noise. How funny, eh?
It is really interesting how different kinds of noise affect us in different situations and even our mood can change how we experience noise! For example, when I’m tired have very little patience for my children’s noisy toys!