Any mommy can tell you that children have cycles of behavior. They will go through phases where they are helpful, amazing, angelic and wonderful and then they will go through phases where they are trying, temperamental and generally no fun to be around.
In my experience these cycles last months. A few months of good, a few months of bad, recover, repeat. It can be an exhausting process. 
Just when you think you’ve got things under control and you have finally gotten the whole parenting thing down and can take your children anywhere…BAM! Cycle. You’re back to dreading having to go anywhere because you know a meltdown could happen at any moment and the triggers with each stage are different. Basically, what you thought you knew about your child no longer applies and you’re learning all over again!
You know how women who hang out a lot together supposedly start having their monthly cycles at the same time? Well, even though my girls are years away from that, they still have this weird phenomenon of cycling together.
When Honeybun is in a trying stage, so is Sugarplum. When Sugarplum is in a wonderful phase, so is Honeybun. And I’ve not yet figured out if this is easier or harder.
Sure I have a few months where everything is beautiful in the world and we have weeks of amazing times but then I have months where my whole world is a tornado and everyone is upset all the time (including myself).
I often wonder if it would be easier to have opposing cycles where you always have one child who is angelic and another who is temperamental.
Most of the behavior cycles children have are developmentally based. When children are learning or working on a new skill, they tend to get more edgy. This tends to happen around the time they sit, again when they crawl, when they walk, when they toilet train and can also happen any time there are big changes in their lives such as moving house, switching to a bed out of the crib, starting school, etc.
Providing loving support through the trying times is the best way I have found to cope. I try to talk to my children normally (as if they aren’t upset) and maintain a normal routine as much as possible. I do not, however, give in to their outrageous demands. I still stick to my policies and rules and expect them to treat me with respect before they get special privileges.
Currently all of my children are in a tough cycle. I think often siblings absorb the stress of their siblings and parents and can react to it also. When Sugarplum’s toilet training pushed her into a place of unbalance, Honeybun followed suit. When Honeybun was having a hard time in school, struggling with getting along with her classmates as well as being bored with the activities and lessons, the others fed off her unhappiness.
The ups and downs of children’s behavior and moods can be one of the most exhausting parts of parenting. Staying ahead of the cycles and trying to be patient during the tough times is exhausting, especially when you are in charge of multiple raging lunatics at one time!
But sticking through it, patiently waiting it out, always reaps rewards with even better good cycles. Children who feel loved when they’re at their worst will show you multiplied love when they’re at their best. Children who are respected when they’re struggling will be even more helpful and agreeable when they’re thriving.
It’s not always easy, but giving kids our best even when they’re at their worst is the best way to get through any rough patches of parenting. And trust me, the patience will always be rewarded!
