I had coffee with a very good friend the other night. It’s not often I get out without the girls and even less often that I get to hang out with a close friend (mostly cause I don’t have many good friends here). It’s so nice to be able to discuss anything and everything without getting interrupted or explaining what things are or why I said things.
This particular friend is finishing up her student teaching in a kindergarten class so we often discuss young children’s education since we have similar backgrounds and especially now that I am on the cusp of becoming a kindergarten parent. I summed up my feelings for her with the simple statement “I am more terrified of kindergarten than I am of giving birth,” and I really, truly, 100% meant it.
I’ve done the birth thing before. Though every time is different, I generally know what to expect. I know what my abilities are, what the expectations are of me and what the outcome will be. I don’t have any of these positive feelings about kindergarten. I haven’t been a kindergarten mom before and I don’t know what my role will be and what the school’s expectations will be for me or what my expectations will be of myself. It is all new territory and really truly scares me.
Birth I can do, ultimately the baby will get out and I know all the what-ifs. I don’t even know where to begin with the what-ifs of kindergarten or what the final outcome will be. I don’t feel the need to be in control of every situation or know what is going to happen, I love a good surprise. But I also like to be prepared, I don’t like to be caught off guard with important things and this is how I feel about Kindergarten: totally in the dark and lost in the unknown which is an okay place to be except I’m fearful of taking Honeybun there with me.
