When it comes to our kids, I’ve always been the rule maker. Sure, I ask for my husband’s opinion but generally I make the final call. Because I’m the mom.
Not because I grew and carried them in my body for 9 months or nourished them by shoving my breasts in their mouth every 2 hours, every day for almost 2 years (each). I get to make the rules because I’m their full-time, stay-at-home caretaker.
I’m in the trenches. With four of them. All the time. Every day. All.Frickin.Day.
So yeah, I think I’ve earned the privilege to make the rules for my sweet cherubs that drive me to the brink of insanity daily. But you know what really drives me crazy? When every other adult in their lives thinks it’s okay to break the rules because it’s just “once in a while.”
Sure, rules are made to be broken and none of the rules I’ve established (like no juice, no TV, and limited other screen time) are set in stone, but they exist and were established for a reason. And I should be the one who gets to break the rules once in a while, not everyone else!
The rules I’ve implemented are not only aimed at making my children happy, healthy, good people but they make MY life easier. You know, the one who is with them All.The.Frickin.Time.
We don’t have juice and I make them eat small, healthy snacks because I want to establish healthy life habits and by making it a rule, they don’t completely lose their shit every day when I tell them no goldfish, fruit chews or cookies for snack. Because it’s been a long-standing rule, some days they actually grab a banana all on their own and go about their merry way.
I say no TV because for my kids, TV is like magic. Put on a Disney movie and they won’t move for two full hours, any of them. I call it my mommy magic because there are times when I need them to be quite and safe for 2 hours while I argue with an insurance representative or would like throw up in the toilet without help when I’m sick.
But the real reason it makes me so angry when other people break the rules is because it takes away the opportunity for me to do it. And remember, I’m the one who is with them All.The.Frickin.Time.
I believe in fairness when possible and in this case, rule breaking privileges should be divvied up according to proportion of time spent with the kids and since I’m with them All.The.Frickin.Time, that would mean I should get to do the majority of the rule breaking.
Instead of always being the “bad guy” who is constantly enforcing the rules, I would love just ONCE in a while to be the “cool” one who lets them get away with things. I would love just SOMETIMES to be the one who gets to take it easy.
But every time these rules are broken, they become watered down, less effective and harder to implement. And so every time someone else breaks the rules, takes it easy, lets it go, I’m stuck with having to continue to reinforce hem. I’m stuck with being the rule maker, the rule enforcer when I have EARNED the right to be the rule breaker.
I’ve served my time. I’m with them All.The.Frickin.Time. Don’t I deserve to be the hero in their eyes once in a while instead of just the mean mommy who makes all the rules and then forces them live by them, too?
If I’m the rule maker, shouldn’t I also be entitled to break the rules?
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